sal themselves.

One thing has struck me, and that is the, often great, difference
that exists between what a woman's looks lead one to think she
is, and what she is when one becomes her lover; the most sensual
woman that I have met might have sat for her portrait as the
Madonna, and she was the only one who took pleasure in hearing
and relating "smoking-room stories," a form of amusement which,
perhaps from their want of appreciation of humor and wit, women
do not indulge in--at least in my experience.

HISTORY V.--(A continuation of History III in Appendix B to the
previous volume.)

As I became better I commenced to dream of true love. I wondered,
too, if my horrible past really could be lived down and a young
woman come to love _me_. I took pleasure in reading love poems,
especially Browning's, and illustrated some with little
water-colors....

I was sitting in the stalls one night seeing a performance by a
company of English actors when one of them played so badly that I
thought to myself: "Why, hang it, I could play it better myself!"
The next minute another thought followed: "Why not try?" I came
out of the stalls the proverbial stage-struck youth. I was
sitting in the same place another night when the young man next
to me entered into conversation. By a strange coincidence he knew
a few young men, amateurs, who were going to form a company, give
up their situations and travel, if they could induce a few more
to join them and put a little money in. I made an appointment for
the following evening....

There were lots of meetings in bedrooms and rehearsals between
the beds, but ultimately I was told a school-room had been
engaged and a professional actress, A.F. I went to the
school-room and found all the boys there, and a young woman with
a pale, rice-powder complexion. On introduction she gazed at me
as if struck dumb. If she had been better-looking (I thought her
vulgar and puffy) I would have been flattered. I was
disappointed, but rather frightened (she had a stage presence) of
her professional ability, especially when we commenced to
rehearse. I had to make love to her, too, which embarrassed me.
She had a good profile, I noticed, and would have been better
looking, I thought, if she were in better condition, for she was
young, about my own age, t