his newly-appearing
pubic hair, and told several of us openly of how he enjoyed to
play "a drum-beat" on his penis before going to sleep. "I don't
do it too much, though," he explained. He showed a mild curiosity
when I gave him the resume of a book on cohabitation which
contained illustrations of the erect penis and the female organs.
I had found this book in the woods and I read it eagerly during
my third year.

I came to the point of agreeing with A., who said: "Everyone is
smutty." Indeed I lived in a lustful world, and yet my mind was
bent also on books, and writing, and the outdoor world. I was
overgrown and splendidly developed, with a medium-sized penis and
a scant growth of pubic hair. My face wore a somewhat infantile
expression. My mouth was a perfect "Cupid's bow," my hair thin
and light. I was troubled about my snub-nose, which gave the boys
a great deal of amusement. As a matter of fact I exaggerated its
upward tendency out of my morbid self-consciousness and
cowardice. My imagination was extraordinarily intense, as it had
always been. I was sensitive to smells and sounds and colors and
personalities, and to the subtle influence of the night. I was
timid and easily moved to tears, but not from any physical
weakness until after. At the lower house there was the boy Z.,
famed for his large penis; and the older G., a boy of 15, who was
the leader in sexuality at his dormitory. Z. showed me his penis
and exposed his glans often enough, but we did not manipulate
each other. G. told us to notice how large a space his penis
occupied in his trousers, and laughed over Z.'s custom of
masturbating by means of a narrow vase. G.'s special lover was a
nervous boy of ten. It is remarkable that none of us mentioned
_fellatio_ or _paedicatio_. These acts may have occurred at
school, but not to my knowledge. We did not have much to say
sexually about the girls. We heard rumors of a 16-year-old, V.,
who had been sent away from school for coitus; and my first
room-mate was said to have obtained _conjunctio_ with a girl
under cover of the chapel shed. Once A. and I pointed a telescope
at the open windows of the girls' dormitory, but we saw nothing
to interest us. A day-scholar, J., a pale, nervous, bright boy of
13, took me into the study of his uncle-physician and together we