of foppishness kept me on the safe side of
moderation in my dress and behavior.

During my second year of university life I had two love affairs
in the course of which I found that my interest in any particular
member of the fair sex disappeared as soon as it was returned.
The pursuit was fascinating enough, but I cared nothing at all
for the prize when once it was within reach. I may add that the
interest I had in the girls was purely ideal. While at this
school I do not think I masturbated half as often as while at the
preparatory school.

When I left this college for ---- University I took with me a
formidable catalogue of good resolutions, first among which was
the determination to abandon all kinds of "self-abuse." I think I
kept this one about a month. As I had gone from a comparatively
small school to one of the largest of American universities the
change was great and the revelations it brought me frequently
humiliating. I was lonesome, home-sick, and my bump of
self-esteem was woefully bruised; and not unnaturally I soon
began to seek a partial solace in day-dreams and masturbation.
After I had become somewhat adapted to my new environment I
indulged less frequently in either, and from that time to the
present I have masturbated very irregularly, sometimes but little
and again to excess.

Not long after I came to this place I met a young lady with whom
I soon became quite intimate. For over a year our friendship was
strictly platonic and then swung suddenly around to a sexual
basis. We were ardent lovers for a few weeks, after which I tired
of the game as I had before in other cases, and broke off all
relations with her as abruptly as was possible. Since then I have
almost wholly withdrawn from the society and companionship of
women and have almost entirely lost whatever tact and assurance I
once possessed in their company. Things pertaining to sexual life
have interested me rather more than less, but have occupied my
attention much less exclusively than before this episode. Though
I have never intended to marry, my breaking off relations with
this girl affected me much. At any rate it marked an abrupt
change in the character of my sexual experiences. The sexual
impulse seems to have lost its power to rouse me to action.
Hitherto I had practiced masturbation