ried to
masturbate me, but was unable to produce an orgasm, though I
found the experiment mildly pleasurable.

Early in my eleventh year we left the farm and lived in the city
for several months. In the meantime there had been no
developments in my sexual life beyond what has already been
indicated. In the city I found so much to interest and amuse me
that I almost entirely forgot my erotic day-dreams and desires.
Though my chief playmates were two girls of about my own age I
never thought of attempting sexual intercourse with them, as I
might easily have done, for they were much wiser and more
experienced in these things than myself. Shortly before the end
of our stay in town an older schoolmate explained to me as much
of the process of reproduction as is usually known by a
precocious youngster of 12 years, but I firmly refused to credit
his statements. He adduced the fact of lactation in proof of the
correctness of his views, but I had been too thoroughly steeped
in supernaturalism to be very amenable to naturalistic evidence
of this sort and remained obdurate. But the suggestion stayed
with me and perplexed me not a little; when we returned to the
farm I began to watch the reproductive process in animals.

The following two years were decidedly unpleasant. I was growing
rapidly and was sluggish, awkward and stupid. At school I was
more unpopular than ever and seemed to have a positive genius
for doing the wrong thing. On the rare occasions when my
companions admitted me to their counsels I was a willing dupe and
catspaw, with the result that I was much in trouble with my
teachers. Being morbidly sensitive I suffered keenly under these
circumstances and, as my health was not at all good, I often made
of my frequent headaches excuses to stay at home, where I would
lie abed brooding over my small troubles or, more often, dreaming
erotic day-dreams and making repeated attempts to produce an
orgasm. But though these efforts were accompanied by the most
lustful thoughts and my imagination created situations of
oriental extravagance, I was 13 years old when they first met
with success. I remember the occasion very distinctly, the more
so because I thought of it much and bitterly when shortly
afterwards I tried to abandon a habit which the family "doctor
book" assured me m