at
he did, he exclaimed. "Hoots! how long has this been going on?"

Little Pat and big Mike had had a dispute, when Mike in contempt said:
"Ye little runt, Oi bet I could carry yez up to the fifth story in me
hod."

Pat immediately took up the bet, saying: "I'd loike to see ye thry
thot same. I'll bet yez fifty cints on it."

Before he knew it Mike had him in his hod and was going up the ladder.
When he got to the fourth story his foot slipped and he almost fell.
He regained his footing, however, and reached the fifth story in
triumph.

"Oi won!" he said.

"Yez did thot," said Pat, "but Oi had high hopes when yer foot
slipped."

BIBLE INTERPRETATION

Senator Simmons was discussing the proposed war-tax on
automobile-owners. "Making war-taxes," he said, "isn't pleasant work.
It puts one in the position of the facetious minister at Ocean Grove
who took a little girl on his knee, and said:

"'I don't love you, Nellie.'"

All the ladies on the breeze-swept veranda laughed, but little Nellie
frowned and said:

"'You've got to love me. You've got to.'"

"'Got to? How so?'" laughed the divine.

"'Because,' said Nellie stoutly, 'you've got to love them that hate
you--and I hate you, goodness knows!'"

"The Bible tells us we should love our neighbors," said the good
deacon.

"Yes, but the Bible was written before our neighbors lived so close,"
replied the mere man.

WILLIE--"Paw, why is the way of the transgressor hard?"

PAW--"Because so many people have tramped on it, my son."

Little Marie was sitting on her grandfather's knee one day, and after
looking at him intently for a time she said:

"Grandpa, were you in the ark?"

"Certainly not, my dear," answered the astonished old man.

"Then why weren't you drowned?"

A bashful curate found the young ladies in the parish too helpful. At
last it became so embarrassing that he left.

Not long afterward--he met the curate who had succeeded him.

"Well," he asked, "how do you get on with the ladies?"

"Oh, very well indeed," said the other. "There is safety in numbers,
you know."

"Ah!" was the instant reply. "I only found it in Exodus."

Bishop Hoss said at a Nashville picnic:

"The religious knowledge of too many adults resembles, I am afraid,
the religious knowledge of little Eve.

"'So you attend Sunday-school regularly?' the minister said to little
Eve."

"'Oh, yes, sir.'"

"'And you know your Bible?'"

"'Oh, yes, s