picter on Aunt Nancy Smith's tea cups. I wuz
sort of sot back fer a minnit, coz 'I sed to myself--I don't spose this
durned critter can talk English; but seein' as how I'm in here, I might
as well find out. So I told him I'd like to git him to do some washin'
fer me, and he commenced a talkin' some outlandish lingo, sounded to me
like cider runnin' out of a jug, somethin' like--ung tong oowong fang
kai moi oo ung we, velly good washee. Wall I understood the last of it
and jist took his word fer the rest, so I giv him my clothes and he giv
me a little yeller ticket that he painted with a brush what he had, and
I'll jist bet a yoke of steers agin the holler in a log, that no livin'
mortal man could read that ticket; it looked like a fly had fell into
the ink bottle and then crawled over the paper. Wall I showed it to
a gentleman what was a standin' thar when I cum out, and I sed to
him--mister, what in thunder is this here thing, and he sed "Wall sir
that's a sort of a lotery ticket; every time you leave your clothes thar
to have them washed you git one of them tickets, and then you have a
chance to draw a prize of some kind." So I sed--wall now I want to know,
how much is the blamed thing wuth, and he sed "I spose bout ten cents,"
and I told him if he wanted my chants for ten cents he could hav it, I
didn't want to get tangled up in any lotery gamblin' bizness with that
saucer faced scamp. So he giv me ten cents and he took the ticket, and
in a couple of days I went round to git my washin', and that pig tailed
heathen he wouldn't let me hev em, coz I'd lost that lotery ticket. So
I sed--now look here Mr. Hop Soon, if you don't hop round and git me my
collars and ciffs and other clothes what I left here, I'll be durned if
I don't flop you in about a minnit, I will by chowder. Wall that critter
he commenced hoppin around and a talkin faster 'n a buzz saw could turn,
and all I could make out wuz--mee song lay tang moo me oo lay ung yong
wo say mee tickee. Wall I seen jist as plain as could be that he wuz a
tryin' to swindle me outen my clothes, so I made a grab fer him, and in
less 'n a minnit we wuz a rollin' round on the floor; fust I wuz on top,
and then Mr. Hop Soon wuz on top, and you couldn't hav told which one
of us the pig tail belonged to. We upset the stove and kicked out the
winder, and I sot Mr. Hop Soon in the wash tub, and when I got out of
thar I had somebody's washin' in one hand and about five yards of that
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