ge, and I started out for Coney Iland.
Settin' right along side of me in the keer wuz an old lady, and she
seemed sort of figity 'bout somethin' or other, and finaly she sed to
me "mister, do these cars stop when we git on the other side of the
bridge?" I sed, wall now if they don't you'll git the durndest bump you
ever got in your life.

Wall we got on the other side, and I got on one of them tra-la-lu cars
what goes down to Coney Iland. I give the car feller a dollar, and he
put it in his pockit jist the same as if it belonged to him. Wall, when
I wuz gittin' purty near thar I sed, Mister, don't I git any change? He
sed, "didn't you see that sign on the car?" I sed, no sir. Wall he sez
"you better go out and look at it."

Wall I went out and looked at it, and that settled it. It sed "This car
goes to Coney Iland without change." Guess it did; I'll be durned if I
got any.

Wall we got down thar, and I must say of all the pandemonium and hubbub
I ever heered in my life, Coney Iland beats it all. Bout the fust thing
I seen thar wuz a place what they called "Shoot the Shoots." It looked
like a big hoss troff stood on end, one end in a duck pond and tother
end up in the air, and they would haul a boat up to the top and all
git in and then cum scootin' down the hoss troff into the pond. Wall I
alowed that ud be right smart fun, so I got into one of the boats along
with a lot of other folks I never seed afore and don't keer if I never
see agin. They yanked us up to the top of that troff and then turned us
loose, and I jist felt as though the whole earth had run off and left
us. We went down that troff lickety split, and a woman what wuz settin'
alongside of me, got skeered and grabbed me round the neck; and I sed,
you let go of me you brazen female critter. But she jist hung on and
hollered to beat thunder, and everybody wuz a yellin' all to onct, and
that durned boat wuz a goin' faster'n greased lightnin' and I had one
hand on my pockit book and tother on my hat, and we went kerslap dab
into that duck pond, and the durned boat upsot and we went into the
water, and that durned female critter hung onto me and hollered "save
me, I'm jist a drownin'." Wall the water wasn't very deep and I jist
started to wade out when along cum another boat and run over us, and
under we went ker-souse. Wall I managed to get out to the bank, and that
female woman sed I was a base vilian to not rescue a lady from a watery
grave. And I jist tol