ght out.

Sottin' right alongside of me wuz a lady and she had the purtiest little
baby I calculate I'd ever seen in all my born days, I wanted to be
sociable with the little feller so I jist sort of waved my hand at him,
and sed how-d'e-do baby, and that lady just looked et me scornful like
and sed "rubber," wall I wuz never more sot back, I guess you could
have knocked me down with a feather, I thought it was a genuine baby, I
didn't know the little thing was rubber.

Wall I noticed up in one end of the car thar wuz a little round masheen,
and the conductor had a clothes line tied to it, and every time he got
a nickel he'd yank on that clothes line, and fust it sed in and then it
sed out, I couldn't tell what all them little ins and outs meant, but I
jist cum to the conclusion it showed how much the conductor wuz in and
the company wuz out.

Wall I got to talkin' to that feller on the front end of the car, and he
wuz a purty nice sort of a feller, he showed me how every thing worked
and told me all about it, wall when I got off I sed--good bye, mister,
hope I'll see you agin some time, and he sed, "oh, I'll run across you
one of these days," I told him by gosh he wouldn't run across me if I
seen him a comin'.

My Fust Pair of Copper Toed Boots

THAR'S a feelin' of pleasure, mixed in with some pain,

That over my memory scoots,

When I think of my boyhood days once again

And my fust pair of copper toed boots.

How our folks stood around when I fust tried them on,

And bravely marched out on the floor,

And father remarked "thar a mighty good fit

And the best to be had at the store."

That night, I remember, I took them to bed,

With the rest of us little galoots,

And among other things in my prars which I sed

Wuz a reference to copper toed boots.

And then in the mornin' the fust one on hand

Wuz me and my new acquisition,

And thar wuzn't a spot in the house that I missed,

From the garret clar down to the kitchen.

Then with feelin's expandin', and huntin' fer room,

I concluded I'd help do the chores;

Fer I felt as though somethin' wuz goin' to bust

If I didn't git right out of doors.

But those boots they were new, and the ice it wuz slick,

And I couldn't get one way or tother,

And I jist had to stand right there in one spot

And holler like thund