en't got many clothes."--_Rochester Herald_.

_His Little Ad_

There was a man in our town
And he was wondrous wise;
He swore (it was his policy)
He would not advertise.
But one day he did advertise,
And thereby hangs a tail,
The "ad" was set in quite small type,
And headed "Sheriff's Sale."

Burton Holmes, the lecturer, had an interesting experience, while in
London. He told some Washington friends a day or two ago that when he
visited the theater where he was to deliver his travelogue he decided
that the entrance to the theater was rather dingy and that there
should be more display of his attraction.

Accordingly, he suggested to the manager of the house that the front
be brightened up at night by electrical signs, one row of lights
spelling his name "Burton" and another row of lights spelling the name
"Holmes."

The manager told him it was too much of an innovation for him to
authorize and referred him to the owner of the theater. Mr. Holmes
traveled several hours into the country to consult with the owner,
who referred him to his agent in the city. The agent in turn sent Mr.
Holmes to the janitor of the theater.

"I talked with the janitor and explained my plan to him for about an
hour," Mr. Holmes said. "Finally, after we had gone into every detail
of the cost and everything else, the janitor told me that the theater
was a very exclusive and high class theater, and that he would not put
up the sign. I asked him why?"

"Because it would attract too much attention to the theater," the
janitor replied.

"What's your time?" asked the old farmer of the brisk salesman.
"Twenty minutes after five. What can I do for you?" "I want them
pants," said the old farmer, leading the way to the window and
pointing to a ticket marked, "Given away at 5.20."

_See also_ Authorship; Beauty, Personal; Salesmen and salesmanship.

ADVICE

The most unfair person is the one who asks you for advice and doesn't
let you know what advice he wants.

Another thing that we sometimes take when nobody's looking is advice.

It is a good divine that follows his own instructions: I can easier
teach twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the twenty to
follow mine own teaching.--_Shakespeare_.

Advice is the most worthless commodity in the world. Those who might
profit by it don't need it, and those who do need it won't profit by
it--if they could, they wouldn't need