d enough for them?"

"Your society is fine. But your appetite sets a terrible example."

TEACHER--"You remember the story of Daniel in the lion's den, Robbie?"

ROBBIE--"Yes, ma'am."

TEACHER--"What lesson do we learn from it?"

ROBBIE--"That we shouldn't eat everything we see."

APPLAUSE

"You don't attach much importance to the applause an orator receives."

"Not much," admitted Senator Sorghum. "There is bound to be applause.
You can't expect an audience to sit still all evening and do
absolutely nothing."

"The train pulled out before you had finished your speech."

"Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. "As I heard the shouts of the crowd
fading in the distance I couldn't be sure whether they were applauding
me or the engineer."

A slowness to applaud betrays a cold temper or an envious
spirit.--_Hannah More_.

The silence that accepts merit as the most natural thing in the world,
is the highest applause.--_Emerson_.

ARITHMETIC

"Waiter," he suggested mildly, "I want three eggs, and boil them four
minutes."

But the cook, having only one in the place, boiled it twelve minutes.

Which proves the value of higher mathematics.

SCHOOL-TEACHER (to little boy)--"If a farmer raises 3,700 bushels of
wheat and sells it for $2.50 per bushel, what will he get?"

LITTLE BOY--"An automobile."

"Now, then, Johnny," said his teacher, "if your father gave you seven
cents and your mother gave you six and your uncle gave you four more,
what would you have?"

Johnny wrinkled up his forehead and went into silence for the space of
several minutes.

"Come, come," said the teacher impatiently. "Surely you can solve a
simple little problem like that."

"It ain't a simple problem at all," replied the boy. "I can't make up
my mind whether I'd have an ice-cream soda or go to the movies."

In Missouri, where they raise more mules and children than in any
other place in the world, a certain resident died possessed of
seventeen mules and three sons. In his will he disposed of the mules
as follows: One-half to the eldest son, one-third to the next, and
one-ninth to the youngest.

The administrator who went to divide the property drove a span of
mules out to the farm, but when he went to divide the seventeen into
halves, thirds, and ninths he found it was impossible with live mules;
mules not being very valuable, he unhitched one of his own, putting it
with the other seventeen, making eighte