impressive gesture the visitor
faced the proprietor of the film studio. "I would like to secure a
place in your moving-picture company," he said.

"You are an actor?" asked the film man.

"Yes."

"Had any experience acting without audiences?"

A flicker of sadness shone in the visitor's eyes as he replied:

"Acting without audiences is what brought me here!"

It was a death-bed scene, but the director was not satisfied with the
hero's acting.

"Come on!" he cried. "Put more life in your dying!"

"Pa, what's an actor?"

"An actor, my boy, is a person who can walk to the side of a stage,
peer into the wings at a group of other actors waiting for their cues,
a number of bored stage hands and a lot of theatrical odds and ends
and exclaim, 'What a lovely view there is from this window!'"

"There were two actresses in an early play of mine," said an author,
"both very beautiful; but the leading actress was thin. She quarreled
one day at rehearsal with the other lady, and she ended the quarrel by
saying, haughtily: 'Remember, please, that I am the star.'

"'Yes, I know you're the star,' the other retorted, eyeing with an
amused smile the leading actress's long, slim figure, 'but you'd look
better, my dear, if you were a little meteor!'"

INTERVIEWER--"What is your wife's favorite dish?"

HUSBAND OF FAMOUS MOVIE ACTRESS--"In the magazines it is peach-bloom
fudge-cake with orangewisp salad, but at home it is tripe and
cabbage."--_Puck_.

The actress stood before her mirror, in doublet and hose, and regarded
her thin legs anxiously.

"I'm not exactly a poem," said she, "but I may pass for heroic verse."

ADVERTISING

_The Question is How Much More?_

TO RENT--In private home, a large, handsomely furnished front room;
also a medium-sized one; every convenience; centrally and very
choicely located; rent more than reasonable. Address, etc.--

Advertising is the test of integrity; the proof of integrity;
that transmits an ever-increasing confidence to both producer and
purchaser.

"I won't pay one cent for my advertising this week," declared the
store-keeper angrily to the editor of the country paper. "You told me
you'd put the notice of my shoe-polish in with the reading-matter."

"And didn't I do it?" inquired the editor.

"No, sir!" roared the advertiser. "No, sir, you did not! You put it in
the column with a mess of poetry, that's where you put it!"

"Paw, what is an advertise