tly told the minister
that he wished to join. The clergyman sought to evade the issue by
suggesting to the man that he reflect more carefully on the matter, and
make it the subject of prayers for guidance. The following day, the
darky encountered the minister.

"Ah done prayed, sah," he declared, beaming, "an' de Lawd he done sent
me an answer las' night."

"And what was it?" queried the clergyman, somewhat at a loss. "What did
the Lord say?"

"Well, sah, He done axed me what chu'ch Ah wanted to jine, an' Ah tole
Him it was yourn. An' He says: 'Ho, ho, dat chu'ch!' says he. 'You can't
git in dere. Ah know you can't--'cause Ah been tryin' to git in dat
chu'ch fer ten years mahself an' Ah couldn't!'"

EXPECTANCY

An Irishman on a scaffolding four stories high heard the noon whistle.
But when he would have descended, he found that the ladder had been
removed. One of his fellow workmen on the pavement below, to whom he
called, explained that the foreman had carried off the ladder for
another job.

"But how'll I get down?" Pat demanded.

Mike, on the pavement, suggested jumping as the only means. Pat's lunch
was below, he was hungry, and he accepted the suggestion seriously.

"Will yez kitch me?" he demanded.

"Sure, an' I'll do that," Mike agreed.

Pat clapped his arms in imitation of a rooster, and crowed, to bolster
up his courage, and leaped. He regained consciousness after a short
interval, and feebly sat up on the pavement. He regarded Mike
reproachfully.

"For why did yez not kitch me?" he asked, and the pain in bones sounded
in his voice.

"Begorry," Mike replied sympathetically, "I was waiting for yez to
bounce!"

EXPENSE ACCOUNT

The woman wrote a reference for her discharged cook as follows:

"Maggie Flynn has been employed by me for a month. She is an excellent
cook, but I could not afford to make use of her services longer."

The husband, who was present, afterward expressed his surprise at the
final clause.

"But it's true," the wife answered. "The dishes she smashed cost double
her wages."

EXPERIENCE

The baby pulled brother's hair until he yelled from the pain of it. The
mother soothed the weeping boy:

"Of course, she doesn't know how badly it hurts." Then she left the
room.

She hurried back presently on hearing frantic squalling from baby.

"What in the world is the matter with her?" she questioned anxiously.

"Nothin' 'tall," brother replied contentedly. "Only now s