the Prodigal Son, and cleaned
the pigs 1.00
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53.83
JOKES
The joke maker's association had a feast. They exploited their humorous
abilities, and all made merry, save one glum guest. At last, they
insisted that this melancholy person should contribute to the
entertainment. He consented, in response to much urging, to offer a
conundrum:
"What is the difference between me and a turkey?"
When none could guess the answer, the glum individual explained:
"I am alive. They stuff turkeys with chestnuts after they are dead."
KINSHIP
The urchin was highly excited, and well he might be when we consider his
explanation:
"They got twins up to sisters. One twin, he's a boy, an' one twin, she's
a girl, an' so I'm a uncle an' a aunt."
* * *
The Southern lady interrogated her colored cook, Matilda, concerning a
raid made on the chicken-house during the night.
"You sleep right close to the chicken-house, Matilda, and it seems to me
you must have heard the noise when those thieves were stealing the
chickens."
"Yes, ma'am," Matilda admitted, with an expression of grief on her dusky
features. "I heerd de chickens holler, an' I heerd the voices ob de
men."
"Then why didn't you go out and stop them?" the mistress demanded.
Matilda wept.
"Case, ma'am," she exclaimed, "I know'd my old fadder was dar, an' I
wouldn't hab him know I'se los' confidence in him foh all de chickens in
de world. If I had gone out dar an' kotched him, it would have broke his
ole heart, an', besides, he would hab made me tote de chickens home foh
him."
KISSES
The bridegroom, who was in a horribly nervous condition, appealed to the
clergyman in a loud whisper, at the close of the ceremony:
"Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?"
The clergyman might have replied:
"Not yet, but soon."
* * *
The young man addressed the old grouch:
"When a fellow has taken a girl to a show, and fed her candy, and given
her supper, and taken her home in a taxi, shouldn't she let a fellow
kiss her good-night?"
The old grouch snorted.
"Humph! He's already done more than enough for her."
KISSING
The subject of kissing was debated with much earnestness for a half hour
between the g
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