s a mistake. It's Moses. He's very
well, ma'am, thank you. Pa an' ma, they found we had an Aaron."

PRONUNCIATION

The parson's daughter spoke pleasantly, but with a hint of rebuke, to
one of her father's humble parishioners:

"Good morning, Giles. I haven't noticed you in church for the last few
weeks."

"No, miss," the man answered. "I've been oop at Noocaste a-visitin' my
old 'aunts. And strange, miss, ain't it, I don't see no change in 'em
since I was a child like?"

The parson's daughter was duly impressed.

"What wonderful old ladies they must be!"

But the man shook his head, and explained with remarkable clearness:

"I didn't say 'arnts', miss. I said 'awnts'--'aunts where I used to
wander in my childhood days like."

PROOF

_Shopper:_--"Are these eggs fresh?"

_Apprentice:_--"Yes, ma'am, they be."

_Shopper:_--"How long since they were laid?"

_Apprentice:_--"'Tain't ten minutes, ma'am--I know, I laid them eggs
there myself."

PROPERTY

The indignant householder held up before the policeman the dead cat that
had been lying by the curb three days.

"What am I to do with this?" he demanded.

"Take it to headquarters," was the serene reply. "If nobody claims it
within a reasonable time, it's your property."

PROVIDENCE

The _babu_ explained with great politeness the complete failure of a
young American member of the shooting party in India to bag any game:

"The sahib shot divinely but it is true that Providence was all merciful
to the birds."

PRUDENCE

Sandy MacTavish was a guest at a christening party in the home of a
fellow Scot whose hospitality was limited only by the capacity of the
company. The evening was hardly half spent when Sandy got to his feet,
and made the round of his fellow guests, bidding each of them a very
affectionate farewell. The host came bustling up, much concerned.

"But, Sandy, mon," he protested, "Ye're nae goin' yet, with the evenin'
just started?"

"Nay," declared the prudent MacTavish, "I'm no' goin' yet. But I'm
tellin' ye good-night while I know ye all."

* * *

The young man, who was notorious for the reckless driving of his car,
was at his home in the country, when he received a telephone call, and a
woman's voice asked if he intended to go motoring that afternoon.

"No, not this afternoon," he replied. "But why do you ask? Who are you?"

"That doesn't matter," came the voice over the wire. "