n' her."

QUESTIONS

It was a rule of the club that anyone asking a question which he himself
could not answer must pay a fine. One of the members presented a
question as to why a ground-squirrel in digging left no dirt around the
entrance to its hole. He was finally called on for the answer, and
explained that of course the squirrel began at the bottom and dug
upward.

"Excellent!" a listener laughed. "But how does the squirrel manage to
reach the bottom?"

"That," said the other with a grin, "is your question."

RAILROAD

A railroad was opened through a remote region, and on the first run over
the line, the engineer overtook a country boy riding his horse along the
road bed. The engineer whistled, and the boy whipped. The train was
forced to a crawl with the cowcatcher fairly nipping at the horse's
heels. Finally, the engineer leaned from the cab window and shouted:

"You dum fool, why dont ye git offen the track?"

The fleeting boy screamed an answer:

"No, sirree! Ye'd ketch me in a jiffy on thet-thar ploughed ground."

RECOGNITION

The office telephone was out of order. An employee of the company was
sent to make repairs. After a period of labor, he suggested to the
gentleman occupying the office the calling up of some one over the wire
in order to test the working of the instrument. The gentleman obligingly
called for the number of his own home in the suburbs. When the
connection was made, he called into the transmitter:

"Maria!" and after a pause, "Maria!" and again "Maria!" There followed a
few seconds of waiting, and he repeated his call in a peremptory tone,
"Maria!"

The electric storm that had been gathering broke at this moment. A bolt
of lightning hit the telephone wires. The gentleman was hurled violently
under his desk. Presently, he crawled forth in a dazed condition, and
regarded the repair man plaintively.

"That's her!" he declared. "The telephone works fine."

REFORM

Abe Jones was a colored man who made a living by chicken-stealing. He
was converted at a camp meeting. When the elder was receiving
testimonies from the mourners' bench, he at last called on Abe:

"Brother," he exhorted, "won't you tell the congregation now what the
Lord has done for you?"

Abe got to his feet awkwardly, and mumbled his response in a tone tinged
with bitterness:

"It looks as though the Lawd done ruint me."

RELIABILITY

The Southern lady saw old 'Rastus setting out with his fish