doddering ancients hobbling
painfully down the village street, and informed the stranger:

"Them fellers is the Dusenbury twins--ninety-eight year old!" The
visitor was duly impressed, and asked to what the pair of venerable
citizens attributed their long life.

"It's kind o' which and t' other," the native confessed. "Obadiah
declares its all along o' his chewin' an' smokin' an' snuffin' day in
an' day out, fer nigh onto a hundred year; an' Ebenezer declares he has
his health becase he never touched the filthy weed."

TOILETTE DETAILS

The little girl who had observed certain details in the toilette
preparations of her elders, was observed by her mother at work over her
most elaborate doll in a somewhat strange manner.

"Whatever are you trying to do with your doll, Mary?" the mother asked.

"I'm just going to put her to bed, mummy," the child replied seriously.
"I've taken off her hair, but I can't get her teeth out."

TONGUE

An old lady in the London parish of the famous Doctor Gill made a
nuisance of herself by constant interference in the affairs of others.
As a gossip she was notorious. It appeared to her that the neckbands
worn by the Doctor were longer than was fitting. She therefore took
occasion to visit the clergyman, and harangued him at length on the
sinfulness of pride. Then she exhibited a pair of scissors, and
suggested that she should cut down the offending neckbands to a size
fitting her ideas of propriety. The Doctor listened patiently to her
exhortation, and at the end offered her the neckbands on which to work
her will. She triumphantly trimmed them to her taste, and returned the
shorn remnants to the minister.

"And now," said the Doctor, "you must do me a good turn also."

"That I will, Doctor," the woman declared heartily. "What can it be?"

"Well," the clergyman explained, "you have something about you which is
a deal too long and which causes me and many others such trouble, that I
should like to see it shorter."

"Indeed, dear Doctor, I shall not hesitate to gratify you. What is it?
See, here are the scissors! Use them as you please."

"Come, then," said the Doctor, "good sister, put out your tongue."

TREACHERY

The Italian workman in the West was warned to look out for rattlesnakes.
He was assured, however, that a snake would never strike until after
sounding the rattles. One day, while seated on a log, eating his lunch,
the Italian saw a rattlesnake coiled ready to