ies.

* * *

A Scotchman had been presented with a pint flask of rare old Scotch
whiskey. He was walking briskly along the road toward home, when along
came a Ford which he did not sidestep quite in time. It threw him down
and hurt his leg quite badly. He got up and limped down the road.
Suddenly he noticed that something warm and wet was trickling down his
leg.

"Oh, Lord," he groaned, "I hope that's blood!"

* * *

_Mr. Graham:_ "Do you know, Miss F., if I had my way, I'd put every
woman in jail!"

_Miss F.:_ "Why, Mr. Graham, I'm surprised. I didn't know you felt that
way about us! What sort of a nation do you think this would be, if you
put all the women in jail?"

_Mr. Graham:_ "Stag-nation, of course!"

* * *

GUILTY

_Sister:_ "Hubby received an anonymous letter this morning informing him
of something I did before we were married."

_Brother:_ "Well, the best thing you can do is to confess."

_Sister:_ "I know it, but he won't let me read the letter and I don't
know what to confess."

* * *

"I'd like to see the man who could persuade me to promise to love,
honour and obey him," said Miss Wellontheway.

"I don't blame you," remarked the newly-made bride.

* * *

"Huh! Yuh talks 'bout sassiety like yuh knows so much 'bout it. Niggah,
I bet dey don' eben have evenin' dresses whah yuh come frum."

"Zat so? Dey's doin' well to have evenin's whah yuh come frum."

* * *

_Second-story Worker:_ "Hullo, Bill, I see you got a new overcoat. What
did it cost you?"

_Burglar:_ "Six months. I never wears cheap clothes!"

* * *

The sweet young thing was being shown through the boiler shop.

"What's that thing?" she asked, pointing with a dainty parasol.

"That's an engine boiler," said the guide.

"And why do they boil engines?" she inquired.

"To make the engine tender," replied the resourceful guide.

* * *

He was a Scot, with the usual characteristics of his race. Wishing to
know his fate, he telegraphed a proposal of marriage to the girl of his
choice. After waiting all day at the telegraph office he received the
affirmative answer late at night.

"Well, if I were you,