st.

"Get out of there quick if you want anything to eat."

"Thanks very much," said the new hand, "but I never eat anything just
before going to sleep."

* * *

MANAGING THE MANAGERS

This conversation was overheard in the corridor of the offices of a
large firm. Needless to say, the speakers were lady clerks--

"He's given me such a fearful telling-off," said one; "just because I
couldn't find him his copy of 'Who's Who.'"

"Pooh! Don't cry, you little silly. You've got to manage him. When
you've been here six weeks, like I have, you'll jolly well tell him to
buy a copy of 'Where's Which,' and find his old 'Who's Who' himself!"

* * *

A GREAT LIGHT

The skipper was examining an ambitious gob who wanted to be a gunner's
mate.

"How much does a six-pound shell weigh?" he asked.

"I don't know," the gob confessed.

"Well, what time does the twelve o'clock train leave?"

"Twelve o'clock."

"All right, then, how much does a six-pound shell weigh?"

"Ah," said the youthful mariner, a great light dawning on him. "Twelve
pounds."

* * *

The two flappers at the Strand seemed barely in their 'teens, yet their
conversation stamped them as seasoned film fans. They were discussing
titles of pictures in general, and the tiny blonde expressed regret that
the recent German importations had had their titles changed for American
consumption. "If they had only called that picture 'Du Barry' instead of
'Passion,' think what a hit it would have made!"

Her bobbed-hair companion tossed her head and scoffed: "Don't you
believe it. There's millions of folks never heard of Du Barry, but every
one knows about passion."

* * *

"We will take as our text this morning," announced the absent-minded
clergyman, consulting his memorandum, "the sixth and seventh verses of
the thirty-first chapter of Proverbs." Never suspecting that his
vivacious son and heir had found the memorandum in his study on the
previous night, and, knowing that his papa had composed a sermon
celebrating the increased severity of dry law enforcement, had
diabolically changed the chapter and verse numerals to indicate a very
different text, the absent-minded clergyman turned to the place and read
aloud these words of Solomon: "Give strong drink unto him that is ready
to perish, and wine unto