y dollars, where does your profit come in?"

Shopkeeper: "That comes from repairing them."

PROGRESS

The cottager was crippled by rheumatism, and the kindly clergyman taught
him his letters, and put him through the primer and into the Bible. On
his return after a vacation, the clergyman met the cottager's wife.

"How does John get along with his reading of the Bible?" he asked.

"Oh, bless your reverence," she replied proudly, "'e's out of the Bible
and into the newspaper long ago."

* * *

The kindly clergyman, newly come to the parish, was at great pains to
teach an illiterate old man, crippled with rheumatism, his letters so
that he could read the Bible. On the clergyman's return after a short
absence from the parish, he met the old man's wife.

"And how is Thomas making out with reading his Bible?"

"Bless you, sir," the wife declared proudly, "he's out of the Bible and
into the newspaper long ago."

* * *

The physician advised his patient to eat a hearty dinner at night,
without any worry over the ability to digest it. The patient, however,
protested:

"But the other time when I came to see you, you insisted I must eat only
a very light supper in the evening."

The physician nodded, smiling complacently.

"Yes, of course--that shows what great progress the science of medicine
is making."

PROHIBITION

The objector to prohibition spoke bitterly:

"Water has killed more folks than liquor ever did."

"You are raving," declared the defender of the Eighteenth Amendment.
"How do you make that out?"

"Well, to begin with, there was the Flood."

* * *

The wife complained to her husband that the chauffeur was very drunk
indeed, and must be discharged instantly.

"Discharged--nothing!" the husband retorted joyously. "When he's sobered
off, I'll have him take me out and show me where he got it."

PROLIFIC

The woman teacher in a New York School was interested in the
announcement by a little girl pupil that she had a new baby brother.

"And what is the baby's name?" the teacher asked.

"Aaron," was the answer.

A few days later, the teacher inquired concerning Aaron, but the little
girl regarded her in perplexity.

"Aaron?" she repeated.

"Your baby brother," the teacher prompted.

Understanding dawned on the child's face.

"Oh, Aaron!" she exclaimed. "That wa