"What!" he demanded. "On me own time?"

POETRY

The evil effects of decadent verse is unintentionally told in the
following extract from a Hindu's letter to the authorities requesting
aid in behalf of his invalid father, who leads sickly life, and is going
from bad to perhaps, but not too well; for an extract from the petition
calls on the government "to look after my old faher, who leads sickly
life, and is going from bad to verse every day."

POINT OF VIEW

A couple from Boston spent a winter in Augusta, Georgia. During the
period of their visit, they became fond of an old colored woman, and
even invited her to visit their home at their expense. In due time after
their return to Boston, the visitor was entertained. Every courtesy was
extended to the old colored woman, and she even had her meals with the
host and hostess. One day at dinner, the host remarked, with a certain
smug satisfaction in his own democratic hospitality:

"I imagine that, during all the time you were a slave, your master never
invited you to eat at his table."

"No, suh, dat he didn't," replied the old darky. "My master was a
genl'man. He never let no nigger set at table 'long side o' him."

* * *

The kindly old lady chanced to be present at the feeding of the lions in
the zoo. Presently, she remarked to the keeper:

"Isn't that a very small piece of meat to give to the lions?"

The man answered very respectfully, but firmly:

"It may seem like a very small piece of meat to you, mum, but it seems
like a big piece of meat to the lions, mum."

POKER

Tommy Atkins and a doughboy sat in a poker game together somewhere in
France. The Britisher held a full house, the American four of a kind.

"I raise you two pounds," quoth Tommy.

The Yankee did not hesitate.

"I ain't exactly onto your currency curves, but I'll bump it up four
tons."

POLITENESS

The little girl in the car was a pest. She crossed the aisle to devote
herself to a dignified fat man, to his great annoyance. She asked
innumerable questions, and, incidentally, counted aloud his vest buttons
to learn whether he was rich man, poor man, beggar man or thief. The
mother regarded the child's efforts as highly entertaining. The fat man
leaned forward and addressed the lady very courteously:

"Madam, what do you call this dear little child?"

"Ethel," the beaming mother replied.

"Please call her then," the fat man requ