ested.

* * *

Johnny, who was to be the guest at a neighbor's for the noonday meal,
was carefully admonished by his mother to remember his manners, and to
speak in complimentary terms of the food served him. He heeded the
instruction, and did the best he could under stress of embarrassment.

After he had tasted the soup, he remarked as boldly as he could
contrive:

"This is pretty good soup--what there is of it."

He was greatly disconcerted to observe that his remark caused a frown on
the face of his hostess. He hastened to speak again in an effort to
correct any bad impression from his previous speech:

"And there's plenty of it--such as it is."

* * *

On Johnnie's return from the birthday party, his mother expressed the
hope that he had behaved politely at the luncheon table, and properly
said, "Yes, if you please" and "No, thank you," when anything was
offered him.

Johnnie shook his head seriously.

"I guess I didn't say, 'No, thank you.' I ate everything there was."

* * *

The teacher used as an illustration of bad grammar, for correction by
the class, the following sentence:

"The horse and cow is in the pasture."

A manly little fellow raised his hand, and at the teacher's nod said:

"Please, sir, ladies should come first."

* * *

The man sitting in the street car addressed the woman standing before
him:

"You must excuse my not giving you my seat--I'm a member of the Sit
Still Club."

"Certainly, sir," the woman replied. "And please excuse my staring--I
belong to the Stand and Stare Club."

She proved it so well that the man at last sheepishly got to his feet.

"I guess, ma'am," he mumbled, "I'll resign from my club and join yours."

POLITICS

The little boy interrupted his father's reading of the paper with a
petition.

"Please, Daddy, tell me the story about the Forty Thieves."

The father, aroused from his absorption in political news and comment on
the campaign, regarded his son thoughtfully for a moment, and then shook
his head.

"No," he answered decisively, "you must wait until you're a little
older, my son. You're too young to understand politics."

POPULATION

Someone asked a darky from Richmond who was visiting in the North as to
the population of the city.

"Ah don't edzakly know, suh," was the re