oor disgustedly.

"Just as I thought," she called over her shoulder. "I knew there was a
catch in it."

INTERMISSION

During a lecture, Artemas Ward once startled the crowd of listeners by
announcing a fifteen-minute intermission. After contemplating the
audience for a few minutes, he relieved their bewilderment by saying:

"Meanwhile, in order to pass the time, we will proceed with the
lecture."

INVENTORS

The profiteer, skimming over the advertisements in his morning paper,
looked across the damask and silver and cut glass at his wife, and
remarked enviously:

"These inventors make the money. Take cleaners, now, I'll bet that
feller Vacuum has cleared millions."

ITEMS

The painter was required to render an itemized bill for his repairs on
various pictures in a convent. The statement was as follows:

Corrected and renewed the Ten Commandments 6.00
Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a new ribbon
on his bonnet 3.06
Put a new tail on the rooster of St. Peter and
mended his bill 4.08
Put a new nose on St. John the Baptist and
straightened his eye 2.06
Replumed and gilded the left wing of the Guardian
Angel 5.06
Washed the servant of the High Priest and put
carmine on his cheeks 2.04
Renewed Heaven, adjusted ten stars, gilded the
sun and cleaned the moon 8.02
Reanimated the flames of Purgatory and restored
some souls 3.06
Revived the flames of Hell, put a new tail on the
devil, mended his left hoof and did several odd
jobs for the damned 4.10
Put new spatter-dashes on the son of Tobias and
dressing on his sack 2.00
Rebordered the robe of Herod and readjusted his
wig 3.07
Cleaned the ears of Balaam's ass, and shod him 2.08
Put earrings in the ears of Sarah 5.00
Put a new stone in David's sling, enlarged Goliath's
hand and extended his legs 2.00
Decorated Noah's Ark 1.20
Mended the shirt of