n arm."

The one-armed man picked up the empty sleeve in his remaining hand, and
felt of it with every evidence of astonishment.

"Bless my soul!" he exclaimed. "I do believe you're right."

* * *

The curiosity of the passenger was excited by the fact that his seatmate
had his right arm in a sling, and the following dialogue occurred:

"You broke your arm, didn't you?"

"Well, yes, I did."

"Had an accident, I suppose?"

"Not exactly. I did it in trying to pat myself on the back."

"My land! On the back! Now, whatever did you want to pat yourself on the
back for?"

"Just for minding my own business."

INSOMNIA

The man suffering from insomnia quite often makes a mistake in calling
the doctor, when what he needs is the preacher.

INSULT

The young wife greeted her husband tearfully on his return from the
day's work.

"Oh, Willie, darling," she gasped, "I have been so insulted!"

"Insulted!" Willie exclaimed wrathfully. "Insulted by whom?"

"By your mother!" the wife declared, and sobbed aloud.

The husband was aghast, but inclined to be skeptical.

"By my mother, Ella? Why, dearest, that's nonsense. She's a hundred
miles away."

"But she did," the wife insisted. "A letter came to you this morning,
and it was addressed in your mother's writing, so, of course, I opened
it."

"Oh, yes, of course," Willie agreed, without any enthusiasm.

"And it was written to you all the whole way through, every word of it,
except----"

"Except what?"

"Except the postscript," the wife flared. "That was the insult--that was
to me." The tears flowed again. "It said: 'P. S.--Dear Ella, don't fail
to give this letter to Willie. I want him to read it.'"

* * *

Tom Corwin was remarkable for the size of his mouth. He claimed that he
had been insulted by a deacon of his church.

"When I stood up in the class meeting, to relate my experience," Corwin
explained, "and opened my mouth, the Deacon rose up in front and said,
'Will some brother please close that window, and keep it closed!'"

INSURANCE

The woman at the insurance office inquired as to the costs, amounts
paid, etc.

"So," she concluded, "if I pay five dollars, you pay me a thousand if my
house burns down. But do you ask questions about how the fire came to
start?"

"We make careful investigation, of course," the agent replied.

The woman flounced toward the d