ve was of the capture of Lord Cornwallis by his master, which was
as follows:

"Yassuh, it were right on dis yere road, jest over dar by de fo'ks.
Gen'l Washin'ton, he knowed dat ole Co'nwallis, he gwine pass dis way,
an' 'im an' me, we done hid behin' de bushes an' watched. Yassuh, an'
when ole Co'nwallis, he come by, Gen'l Washin'ton, he jumped out at 'im,
an' he grab 'im by de collah, an' he say, 'Yoh blame' ole rascal, dat de
time what Ah done gone cotch ye!"

HOGS

The professor and his wife were doubtful about returning to the farm on
which they had passed the previous summer, because they had been
somewhat annoyed by the proximity of the pigsty to the house. Finally,
the professor wrote to the farmer and explained the objectionable
feature. He received the following reply:

"We hain't had no hogs on the place since you was here last summer. Be
sure to come."

HOLDING HIS OWN

The farmer, after seven years of effort on the stony farm, announced to
all and sundry:

"Anyhow, I'm holdin' my own. I hadn't nothin' when I come here, an' I
haven't nothin' now."

HOME BREW

The young man had offered his heart and hand to the fair damsel.

"Before giving you my decision," she said sweetly, "I wish to ask you a
question." Then, as he nodded assent: "Do you drink anything?"

The young man replied without an instant of hesitation and proudly:

"Anything!"

And she fell into his arms.

HOMESICKNESS

One of our volunteers in the late war lost some of his first enthusiasm
under the bitter experience of campaigning. One night at the front in
France, while his company was stationed in a wood, a lieutenant
discovered the recruit sitting on a log and weeping bitterly. The
officer spoke roughly:

"Now, what are you bawling about, you big baby?"

"I wish I was in my daddy's barn!" replied the soldier in a plaintive
voice.

"In your daddy's barn!" the astonished lieutenant exclaimed. "What for?
What would you do if you were in your daddy's barn?"

"If I was in my daddy's barn," the youth explained huskily through a
choking sob, "I'd go into the house mighty quick!"

HONEYMOON

The newly married pair were stopping in a hotel. The bride left the
groom in their room while she went out on a brief shopping expedition.
She returned in due time, and passed along the hotel corridor to the
door, on which she tapped daintily.

"I'm back, honey--let me in," she murmured with wishful tenderness. But
there