American thrade, sind him to
me. F'r,' he says, 'th' on'y place an American artist can make a
livin' is here. Charity f'r artists,' he says, 'begins abroad,'
he says."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "perhaps a bum Europeen pitcher is
betther thin a good American pitcher."

"Perhaps so," said Mr. Dooley. "I think it is so. Annyhow, no
matther how bad a painther he is, annywan that can get money out
iv an American millyionaire is an artist an' desarves it. There's
th' rale art. I wish it was taught in th' schools. I'd like to
see an exhibition at th' Museem with 'Check iv American Gintleman,
dhrawn fr'm life,' hung on th' wall."

Immigration

"Well, I see Congress has got to wurruk again," said Mr. Dooley.

"The Lord save us fr'm harm," said Mr. Hennessy.

"Yes, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "Congress has got to wurruk again,
an' manny things that seems important to a Congressman 'll be
brought up befure thim. 'Tis sthrange that what's a big thing to
a man in Wash'nton, Hinnissy, don't seem much account to me.
Divvle a bit do I care whether they dig th' Nicaragoon Canal or
cross th' Isthmus in a balloon; or whether th' Monroe docthrine
is enfoorced or whether it ain't; or whether th' thrusts is abolished
as Teddy Rosenfelt wud like to have thim or encouraged to go on
with their neefaryous but magnificent entherprises as th' Prisidint
wud like; or whether th' water is poured into th' ditches to reclaim
th' arid lands iv th' West or th' money f'r thim to fertilize th'
arid pocket-books iv th' conthractors; or whether th' Injun is
threated like a depindant an' miserable thribesman or like a free
an' indepindant dog; or whether we restore th' merchant marine to
th' ocean or whether we lave it to restore itsilf. None iv these
here questions inthrests me, an' be me I mane you an' be you I
mane ivrybody. What we want to know is, ar-re we goin' to have
coal enough in th' hod whin th' cold snap comes; will th' plumbin'
hold out, an' will th' job last.

"But they'se wan question that Congress is goin' to take up that
you an' me are intherested in. As a pilgrim father that missed
th' first boats, I must raise me claryon voice again' th' invasion
iv this fair land be th' paupers an' arnychists iv effete Europe.
Ye bet I must--because I'm here first. 'Twas diff'rent whin I
was dashed high on th' stern an' rockbound coast. In thim days
America was th' refuge iv th' oppressed iv all th' wurruld. They
cud come over