me their way. I don't believe in
killin' kings, mesilf. I niver wud've sawed th' block off that
curly-headed potintate that I see in th' pitchers down town, but,
be hivins, Presarved Codfish Shaughnessy, if we'd begun a few years
ago shuttin' out folks that wudden't mind handin' a bomb to a king,
they wudden't be enough people in Mattsachoosetts to make a quorum
f'r th' Anti-Impeeryal S'ciety,' says I. 'But what wud ye do with
th' offscourin' iv Europe?' says he. 'I'd scour thim some more,'
says I.

"An' so th' meetin' iv th' Plymouth Rock Assocyation come to an
end. But if ye wud like to get it together, Deacon Hinnissy, to
discuss th' immygration question, I'll sind out a hurry call f'r
Schwartzmeister an' Mulcahey an' Ignacio Sbarbaro an' Nels Larsen
an' Petrus Gooldvink, an' we 'll gather to-night at Fanneilnoviski
Hall at th' corner iv Sheridan an' Sigel sthreets. All th' pilgrim
fathers is rayquested f'r to bring interpreters."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "divvle th' bit I care, on'y I'm here
first, an' I ought to have th' right to keep th' bus fr'm bein'
overcrowded."

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "as a pilgrim father on me gran' nephew's
side, I don't know but ye're right. An' they'se wan sure way to
keep thim out."

"What's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Teach thim all about our instichoochions befure they come," said
Mr. Dooley.

White House Discipline

"Where did ye spind th' New Year's?" asked Mr. Dooley.

"I didn't go to th' White House rayciption," said Mr. Hennessy,
pleasantly.

"I see ye didn't," said Mr. Doolcy. "Ye'er ar-rm is not in a
sling. Man an' boy, Hinnissy, I've taken manny a chanst on me
life, but I'd as lave think iv declarin' th' sintimints iv me heart
in an Orange meetin' as dhroppin' in f'r a socyal call at what
Hogan calls th' ixicutive mansion. That is, if I was a govermint
emplyee, which I ain't, havin' been born wrong.

"Th' time was whin a man lost his job an' his heart to th' prisidint
at th' same time. A reproof was administhered to him with chloryform.
He woke up an' rubbed his eyes an' says, 'Where am I?' an' th'
polisman says: 'Ye're in an ash bar'l.' He come fr'm th' White
House with tears in his eyes an' was tol' he was out iv wurruk.
But, Hinnissy, th' prisint occypant iv th' White House is a heartier
person. A reproof fr'm him is th' same thing as a compound fracture.
A wurrud iv caution will lay a man up f'r a week an' a severe
riprimand will si