ush
to raypeat th' wurruds. To think that anny man shud so demean
himsilf as to imagine such a thing, lave alone say it. But he
did--right out in th' Sinit befure Hinnery Cabin Lodge. Oh, it
was turr'ble. Here it is in th' pa-apers: 'Misther Biv'ridge said
th' st-t-m-nts iv th' hon'rable sinitor fr'm Texas was unw-r-nted.'
Modesty where was thy blush? as Shakespere says. Now, th' sinitors
iv th' United States is not aisily shocked. That's not th' way
ye get into th' Sinit. Th' bright blush iv shame hasn't been used
there more thin twice since th' war. Ye can say almost annything
ye like to a sinitor. Ye can say he wanst stole a horse, that
he's livin' undher an assumed name, that he was made be a thrust,
that his on'y nourishment is beets, or that he belongs to New York
s'ciety, an' th' Sinit will on'y yawn. But wanst even hint that
his such-an'-such is so-an'-so (I will not repeat th' heejous
wurruds) an' ye mus' hurry an' slip on th' brass knuckles, f'r
they'se a slap comin' to ye.

"Here's what happened: 'Sinitor Bailey stepped quickly over Sinitors
Hoar, Mason, Quay, an' others an' made f'r where Sinitor Biv'ridge
was quitely smokin' a cigar an' talkin' to himsilf. Sinitor Bailey
says: "Hon'rable sir, ye must withdraw that loathsome insinooation
again' me good name," he says. "I have not led a pure life. No
man has. I don't claim to be anny betther thin others. But no
wan befure has iver said about me such things as these, an' if ye
don't take thim back at wanst, I'll kill ye, I'll choke ye, I'll
give ye a poke in th' eye," he says. "I cannot consint," says th'
bold sinitor fr'm Injyanny, "I cannot consint to haul back me
epithet. It wud not be sinitoryal courtesy," he says. "Thin,"
says Sinitor Bailey, "here goes f'r an assault an' batthry." An'
with a gesture iv th' thrue orator, he seized him be th' throat.
Th' debate become gin'ral. Sinitor Spooner iv Wisconsin led f'r
th' raypublicans an' Sinitor Morgan iv Alabama counthered f'r th'
dimmycrats. Sinitor Platt made a very happy retort with a chair,
to which Sinitor Gorman replied with a sintintious cuspidor. Owin'
to th' excitin' nature iv th' debate on'y a few iv th' best remarks
reached th' gall'ry, wan iv thim, a piece iv hard coal, layin' out
a riprisintative iv th' Sultan iv Zulu. At th' hospital he declared
himsilf much imprissed. Durin' th' proceedin's Biv'ridge acted
in th' mos' gintlemanly an' even ladylike manner. His face wore