nner up in las' year's champeenship,
showed gr-reat improvement in this year's brick layin' tournymint
at Newport, an' won handily with about tin square feet to spare.
He was nobly assisted be Regynald Van Stinyvant, who acted as his
hod carryer an' displayed all th' agility which won him so much
applause arlier in th' year.

"'Th' Pickaways carrid off all th' honors in th' sewer-diggin'
contest yesterdah, defatin' th' Spadewells be five holes to wan.
Th' shovel wurruk iv Cassidy th' banker was spicially noticeable.
Th' colors iv th' Pickaways was red flannel undhershirts an' dark
brown trousers.

"'Raycreations iv rich men: Jawn W. Grates an' J. Pierpont Morgan
ar-re to have a five days' shinglin' contest at Narragansett
Pier. George Gold is thrainin' f'r th' autumn plumbin' jimkanny.
Mitchigan avnoo is tore up fr'm Van Buren sthreet to th' belt
line in priparation f'r th' contest in sthreet layin'between mimbers
iv th' Assocyation iv More-Thin-Rich Spoorts. Th' sledge teams
is completed but a few good tampers an' wather men is needed.'

"An' why not, Hinnissy? If 'tis fun to wurruk why not do some rale
wurruk? If 'tis spoort to run an autymobill, why not run a locymotive?
If dhrivin' a horse in a cart is a game, why not dhrive a delivery
wagon an' carry things around? Sure, I s'pose th' raison a rich
man can't undherstand why wages shud go higher is because th' rich
can't see why annybody shud be paid f'r annything so amusin' as
wurruk. I bet ye Higgins is wondherin' at this moment why he was
paid so much f'r puttin' rings around a bar'l.

"No, sir, what's a rich man's raycreation is a poor man's wurruk.
Th' poor ar-re th' on'y people that know how to injye wealth.
Me idee iv settin' things sthraight is to have th' rich who wurruk
because they like it, do th' wurruk f'r th' poor who wud rather
rest. I'll be happy th' day I see wan iv th' Hankerbilts pushin'
ye'er little go-cart up th' platform while ye set in th' shade iv
a three an' cheer him on his way. I'm sure he'd do it if ye called
it a spoort an' tol him th' first man to th' dump wud be entitled
to do it over again against sthronger men nex' week. Wud ye give
him a tin cup that he cud put his name on? Wud ye, Hinnissy? I'm
sure ye wud."

"Why do they do it?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"I dinnaw," said Mr. Dooley, "onless it is that th' wan great
object iv ivry man's life is to get tired enough to sleep. Ivrything
seems to be some kind iv wurruk. Wurr