what Hogan
calls cold hatoor, f'r wan iv th' durekeepers said th' prisidint
wasn't home an' another lightly kicked him as he passed, but like
a sojer he wint on to th' East room where Mr. Rosenfelt, th'
pa-apers tells me, shtud in front iv th' fireplace, nervously
pluckin' Sicrety Gage be th' beard. 'I've come,' says Gin'ral
Miles, 'to pay me rayspicts to th' head iv th' naytion.' 'Thank
ye,' says th' prisidint, 'I'll do th' same f'r th' head iv th'
army,' he says, bouncin' a coal scuttle on th' vethran's helmet.
'Gin'ral, I don't like ye'er recent conduct,' he says, sindin'
th' right to th' pint iv th' jaw. 'Ye've been in th' army forty
year,' he says, pushin' his head into th' grate, 'an' ye shud know
that an officer who criticizes his fellow officers, save in th'
reg'lar way, that is to say in a round robin, is guilty iv I
dinnaw what,' he says, feedin' him with his soord. 'I am foorced
to administher ye a severe reproof,' he says. 'Is that what this
is?' says Gin'ral Miles. 'It is,' says th' prisidint. 'I thought
it was capital punishnmint,' says Gin'ral Miles as he wint out
through th' window pursooed be a chandelier. His nex' article
will be entitled 'Hospital Sketches,' an' I undhershtand he's
dictatin' a few remarks to his nurse on providin' atthractive suits
iv steel plate f'r gin'rals in th' army.

"Well, sir, they'll be gr-reat times down there f'r a few years.
A movement is on foot f'r to establish an emergency hospital f'r
office holders an' politicians acrost th' sthreet fr'm th' White
House where they can be threated f'r infractions iv th' Civil
Sarvice law followed be pers'nal injuries. I'll be watchin' th'
pa-apers ivry mornin'. 'Rayciption at th' White House. Among th'
casulties was so-an'-so. Th' prisidint was in a happy mood. He
administhered a stingin' rebuke to th' Chief Justice iv th' Supreme
Coort, a left hook to eye. Sinitor Hanna was prisint walkin' with
a stick. Th' prisidint approached him gaily an' asked him about
his leg. "'Tis gettin' betther," says th' sinitor. "That's good,"
says th' prisidint. "Come again whin it is entirely well an' we'll
talk over that appointment," he says. Th' afthernoon was enlivened
be th' appearance iv a Southern Congressman askin' f'r a foorth-class
post-office. Th' prisidint hardly missed him be more thin a foot
at th' gate, but th' Congressman bein' formerly wan iv Mosby's
guerillas escaped, to th' gr-reat chagrin iv Mr. Rosenfelt, who
re