yelties
iv Europe. Ye'ers, Hinnery.'

"Yes, he's havin' a good time. But what th' pa-apers calls th'
climax iv th' intertainmint will be reached whin he arrives in
Chicago. Schwartzmeister an' I will rayceive him. Schwartzmeister's
fam'ly knew his in th' ol' counthry. He had an uncle that was
booted all th' way fr'm Sedan to Paris be a cousin iv th' Prince.
We've arranged th' programme as far as Ar-rchey road is consarned.
Monday mornin', visit to Kennedy's packin' house; afthernoon,
Riordan's blacksmith shop; avenin', 'Th' Two Orphans,' at th'
Halsted sthreet opry house. Choosdah, iliven A.M., inspiction iv
th' rollin' mills ; afthernoon, visit to Feeney's coal yard;
avenin', 'Bells iv Corneville,' at th' opry house. Winsdah
mornin', tug ride on th' river fr'm Thirty-first sthreet to Law's
coal yard; afthernoon, a call on th' tanneries, th' cable barn an'
th' brick yards; avenin', dinner an' rayciption be th' retail
saloonkeepers. There's th' whole programme. They may think in
New York they are givin' him a good time but we'll show him what
gayety ra-aly is, an' inform him iv th' foundation iv our
supreemacy as a nation. That's what he wants to see an' we'll
show it to him."

"Goowan," said Mr. Hennessy. "He don't know ye."

"I bet ye he knows me as much as he knows thim," said Mr. Dooley.
"To a ra-ale prince, they can't be much diff'rence between a man
who sells liquor be th' pail an' wan that sells it be th' distillery,
between a man that makes a horseshoe an' wan that makes a mlllyion
tons iv steel. We're all alike to him--Carnaygie, Rockyfellar,
Morgan, Schwartzmeister an' me."

"Well, he certainly has been well rayceived," said Mr. Hennessy.

"I wondher," said Mr. Dooley, "if he thinks 'tis on th' square!"

Cuba vs. Beet Sugar

"What's all this about Cubia an' th' Ph'lippeens?" asked Mr.
Hennessy. "What's beet sugar?"

"Th' throuble about Cubia is that she's free; th' throuble about
beet sugar is we're not; an' th' throuble about th' Ph'lippeens
is th' Ph'lippeen throuble," said Mr. Dooley. "As rega-ards Cubia,
she's like a woman that th' whole neighborhood helps to divoorce
fr'm a crool husband, but nivertheless a husband, an' a miserable
home but a home, an' a small credit at th' grocery but a credit,
an' thin whin she goes into th' dhressmakin' business, rayfuse to
buy annything fr'm her because she's a divoorced woman. We freed
Cubia but we didn't free annything she projooces