ide, Sweet Beet iv Liberty, iv thee
I sing? If we do annything f'r Cubia, down goes th' Beet, an' with
th' Beet perishes our instichoochions. Th' constichoochion follows
th' Beet ex propria vigore, as Hogan says. Th' juice iv th' Beet
is th' life blood iv our nation. Whoiver touches a hair iv yon
star spangled Beet, shoot him on th' spot. A bold Beet industhry
a counthry's pride whin wanst desthroyed can niver be supplied.
'Beet sugar an' Liberty Now an' Foriver, wanan' insiprable'--Dan'l
Webster. 'Thank Gawd I--I also--am a Beet'--th' same. 'Gover'mint
iv th' Beet, by th' Beet an' f'r th' Beet shall not perish fr'm
th' earth,'--Abraham Lincoln. An' so, Hinnissy, we put th' pie
back into th' ice-chest where we keep our honor an' ginerosity an'
lock th' dure an' Cubia goes home, free an' hopeless. D'ye think
so? Well, I don't. Be hivins, Hinnissy, I think th' time has come
whin we've got to say whether we're a nation iv Beets. I am no
serf, but I'd rather be bent undher th' dispotism iv a Casteel
thin undher th' tyranny iv a Beet. If I've got to be a slave,
I'd rather be wan to a man, even a Spanish man, thin to a viggytable.
If I'm goin' to he opprissed be a Beet, let it be fr'm th' inside
not fr'm without. I'll choose me masther, Hinnissy, an' whin I
do, 'twill not be that low-lyin', purple-complected, indygistible
viggytable. I may bend me high head to th' egg-plant, th' potato,
th' cabbage, th' squash, th' punkin, th' sparrow-grass, th' onion,
th' spinach, th' rutabaga turnip, th' Fr-rench pea or th' parsnip,
but 'twill niver be said iv me that I was subjygated be a Beet.
No, sir. Betther death. I'm goin' to begin a war f'r freedom.
I'm goin' to sthrike th' shackles fr'm a slave an' I'm him. I'm
goin' to organize a rig'mint iv Rough Riders an' whin I stand on
th' top iv San Joon hill with me soord in me hand an' me gleamin'
specs on me nose, ye can mark th' end iv th' domination iv th'
Beet in th' western wurruld. F'r, Hinnissy, I tell ye what, if
th' things I hear fr'm Wash'nton is thrue, that other war iv freedom
stopped befure it was half done."

"An' what about th' Ph'lippeens?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"They'se nawthin' to say about th' Ph'lippeens," said Mr. Dooley,
"excipt that th' throuble down there is all over."

"All over?"

"All over."

Bad Men From The West

"I see," said Mr. Hennessy, "th' Sinit has rayfused f'r to confirm
th' nommynation iv a man f'r an office out West bec