ver thought iv askin' him
to skin open his bank book. They wasn't anny such things. They
wasn't anny banks. He didn't have to pin a cashier's check to th'
proposal an' put in a sealed bid. If th' girls in my time an'
this part iv town had to wait f'r an opulent business man with
twinty-five or thirty dollars, manny iv thim wud be waitin' at
this minyit.

"We looked on mathrimony as a dhraft on posterity, as Mark Hanna
wud say, an' not as an invistmint. We argyied that while th'
childher was growin' up we'd be undher no expinse, an' when they'd
finished their schoolin' an' was able to take up th' stern jooties
iv life an' go to wurruk, say between th' age iv sivin an' nine,
they cud support us in luxury. Th' young ladies had none th' best
iv us. They had no money too, along with th' rest iv their charms.
It was no case iv matchin' coopons in thim happy days. Th' father
iv th' fam'ly niver thought iv sindin' in an expert accountant to
look over th' young man's books an' decide whether his invistmints
was sound, an' if th' young man had th' nerve to ask his father-in-law
was he still on th' payroll, 'twudn't be the sacramint iv mathrimony
he'd require. If th' young man was kind to th' dog, smoked seegars
that were not made be th' rubber thrust an' cud pass ivry second
saloon without a pang, he was illegible f'r to enther th' first
fam'lies in th' neighborhood an' sometimes even th' last. We was
too dilicate f'r to speak iv marredge as though it was like buyin'
a pound iv tinpinny nails. Durin' th' coortship no wan around
th' house iver let on that annything was in th' air, though wanst
in awhile they was a giggle whin th' dure bell rang an' th' ol'
man wud give a wink to th' clock an' go out into th' kitchen. We
spint most iv our time in th' kitchen while th' preliminaries was
bein' arranged. Th' coortship I think wint on be a complete system
iv signals long befure Marconi come into th' wurruld, but wan night
th' wealthy heiress come hack fr'm th' parlor an' fell into a
clinch with her mother, an' th' proud father yawned an' wint to
bed. That was all they was to it. No wan assayed young Lotharyo
Hinnissy iv th' sixth ward. If they heard he had twinty-five
dollars, they'd begin f'r to make an allybi ready f'r him. I mind
whin Hogan was goin' to marry Cassidy's daughter. 'I haven't a
cint,' he says. 'Hurry up an' marry thin,' says Cassidy, 'or ye
might have.'

"That's th' way it was in thim good ol' da