l. I was
(like the prophet) in a deep abyss of mire, which I could not get out
off. I met with reprimands for being in it, but none were kind enough
to reach out to free me. And when I tried vain efforts to get out, I
only sunk the deeper, and each fruitless attempt only made me see my
own impotence, and rendered me more afflicted.

Oh, how much compassion has this sad experience given me for sinners.
It has taught me why so few of them emerge from the miserable state
into which they have fallen. Such as see it only cry out against their
disorders, and frighten them with threats of future punishment! These
cries and threats at first make some impression, and they use some weak
efforts after liberty, but, after having experienced their
insufficiency, they gradually abate in their design, and lose their
courage for trying any more. All that man can say to them afterward is
but lost labor, though one preach to them incessantly. When any for
relief run to confess, the only true remedy for them is prayer; to
present themselves before God as criminals, beg strength of Him to rise
out of this state. Then would they soon be changed, and brought out of
the mire and clay. But the devil has falsely persuaded the doctors and
the wise men of the age, that, in order to pray, it is necessary first
to be perfectly converted. Hence people are dissuaded from it, and
hence there is rarely any conversion that is durable. The devil is
outrageous only against prayer, and those that exercise it; because he
knows it is the true means of taking his prey from him. He lets us
undergo all the austerities we will. He neither persecutes those that
enjoy them nor those that practice them. But no sooner does one enter
into a spiritual life, a life of prayer, but they must prepare for
strange crosses. All manner of persecutions and contempts in this world
are reserved for that life.

Miserable as the condition was to which I was reduced by my
infidelities, and the little help I had from my confessor, I did not
fail to say my vocal prayers every day, to confess pretty often, and to
partake of the communion almost every fortnight. Sometimes I went to
church to weep, and to pray to the Blessed Virgin to obtain my
conversion. I loved to hear anyone speak of God, and would never tire
of the conversation. When my father spoke of Him, I was transported
with joy; and when he and my mother went on any pilgrimage, and were to
set off early in the morning, I ei