manner, according to the different degrees and states I have
passed through. So deeply was I settled in the inward spirit of prayer,
that I could scarce any more pronounce the vocal prayers.

This immersion in God absorbed all things therein. Although I tenderly
loved certain saints, as St. Peter, St. Paul, St. Mary Magdalene, St.
Teresa, yet I could not form to myself images of them, nor invoke any
of them out of God.

A few weeks after I had received that interior wound of the heart,
which had begun my change, the feast of the Blessed Virgin was held, in
the convent in which was that good father my director. I went in the
morning to get the indulgences and was much surprised when I came there
and found that I could not attempt it; though I stayed above five hours
in the church. I was penetrated with so lively a dart of pure love,
that I could not resolve to abridge by indulgences, the pain due to my
sins. "O my Love," I cried, "I am willing to suffer for Thee. I find no
other pleasure but in suffering for Thee. Indulgences may be good for
those who know not the value of sufferings, who choose not that thy
divine justice should be satisfied; who, having mercenary souls, are
not so much afraid of displeasing Thee, as of the pains annexed to
sin." Yet, fearing I might be mistaken, and commit a fault in not
getting the indulgences, for I had never heard of anyone being in such
a way before, I returned again to try to get them, but in vain. Not
knowing what to do, I resigned myself to our Lord. When I returned
home, I wrote to the good father that he had made what I had written a
part of his sermon, reciting it verbatim as I had written it.

I now quitted all company, bade farewell forever to all plays and
diversions, dancing, unprofitable walks and parties of pleasure. For
two years I had left off dressing my hair. It became me, and my husband
approved it.

My only pleasure now was to steal some moments to be alone with Thee, O
thou who art my only Love! All other pleasure was a pain to me. I lost
not Thy presence, which was given me by a continual infusion, not as I
had imagined, by the efforts of the head, or by force of thought in
meditating on God, but in the will, where I tasted with unutterable
sweetness the enjoyment of the beloved object. In a happy experience I
knew that the soul was created to enjoy its God.

The union of the will subjects the soul to God, conforms it to all His
pleasure, causes self-will g