pass. She asked them whither they were going
and what they carried. Sometimes going on foot to the Benedictines, I
caused shoes to be carried, that they might not perceive by the dirty
ones that I had been far. I dared not go alone; those who attended me
had orders to tell of every place I went. If they were discovered to
fail, they were either corrected or discharged.

My husband and mother-in-law were always inveighing against that good
woman, though in reality they esteemed her. I sometimes made my own
complaint and she replied, "How should you content them, when I have
been doing all in my power for twenty years to satisfy them without
success?" For as my mother-in-law had two daughters under her care, she
was always finding something to say against everything she did in
regard to them.

But the most sensible cross to me now was the revolting of my own son
against me. They inspired him with so great a contempt for me, that I
could not bear to see him without extreme affliction. When I was in my
room with some of my friends, they sent him to listen to what we said.
As he saw this pleased them, he invented a hundred things to tell them.
If I caught him in a lie, as I frequently did, he would upbraid me,
saying, "My grandmother says you have been a greater liar than I." I
answered, "Therefore I know the deformity of that vice, and how hard a
thing it is to get the better of it; and for this reason, I would not
have you suffer the like." He spoke to me things very offensive.
Because he saw the awe I stood in of his grandmother and his father, if
in their absence I found fault with him for anything, he insultingly
upbraided me. He said that now I wanted to be set up over him because
they were not there. All this they approved of. One day he went to see
my father and rashly began talking against me to him, as he was used to
doing to his grandmother. But there it did not meet with the same
recompense. It affected my father to tears. Father came to our house to
desire he might be corrected for it. They promised it should be done,
and yet they never did it. I was grievously afraid of the consequences
of so bad an education. I told Mother Granger of it, who said that
since I could not remedy it, I must suffer and leave everything to God.
This child would be my cross.

Another great cross was the difficulty I had in attending my husband. I
knew he was displeased when I was not with him; yet when I was with
him, he never exp