pear. The ecclesiastic, whom I had met with at home,
far from strengthening and comforting me, did nothing but weaken and
afflict me, telling me that I ought not to suffer certain things. I had
not credit enough to discharge any domestic, however defective or
culpable. As soon as any of them were warned to go away, she sided with
them, and all her friends interfered. As I was ready to go off, one of
my mother-in-law's friends, a man of worth, who had always an esteem
for me, without daring to show it, having heard it, was much afraid
lest I should leave the town; for the removal of my alms, he thought,
would be a loss to the country. He resolved to speak to my
mother-in-law in the softest manner he could for he knew her. After he
had spoken to her, she said, that she would not put me away, but if I
went, she would not hinder me. After this he came to see me, and
desired me to go and make an excuse to her, in order to content her. I
told him, I should be willing to make a hundred, although "I did not
know about what; that I did it continually about everything, which made
her uneasy. But that was not now the matter, for I make no complaint of
her, but thought it not proper for me to continue with her, to give her
pain; that it was but just that I should contribute to her ease."
However, he went with me into her room. Then I told her, that I begged
her pardon, if ever I had displeased her in anything, that it had never
been my intention to do it; that I desired her, before this gentleman,
who was her friend, to tell me wherein I had given her any offense.
Here God permitted; she made a declaration of the truth in his
presence. She said, "She was not a person to suffer herself to be
offended; that she had no other complaint against me but that I did not
love her, and that I wished her dead." I answered her that these
thoughts were far from my heart, so far from it, that I should be glad,
by my best care and attendance on her, to prolong her days; that my
affection was real, but that she never would be persuaded to believe
it, whatever testimonies I could give, so long as she hearkened to
people who spoke to her against me; that she had with her a maid, who,
far from showing me any respect, treated me ill, so far as to push me
when she wanted to pass by. She had done it at church, making me give
way to her with as much violence as contempt, several times, also, in
my room grating me with her words: that I had never complained