that I had no vocation
for Gex, but for Geneva." He said, "I might go from hence to that
city."

I thought this was a way which divine Providence had opened, for my
taking this journey with the less difficulty. As I yet knew nothing
positive of what the Lord would acquire at my hand, I was not willing
to oppose anything. "Who knows," said I, "but the will of the Lord is
only that I should contribute to this establishment?"

I went to see the prioress of the New Catholics at Paris. She seemed
much rejoiced, and assured me she would gladly join me. As she is a
great servant of God, this confirmed me. When I could reflect a little,
which was but seldom, I thought God would make choice of her for her
virtue, and me for my worldly substance. When I inadvertently looked at
myself, I could not think God would make use of me; but when I saw the
things in God, then I perceived that the more I was nothing, the fitter
I was for His designs. As I saw nothing in myself extraordinary, and
looked on myself as being in the lowest stage of perfection, and
imagined that an extraordinary degree of inspiration was necessary for
extraordinary designs, this made me hesitate, and fear deception. It
was not that I was in fear of anything, as to my perfection and
salvation which I had referred to God; but I was afraid of not doing
His will by being too ardent and hasty in doing it. I went to consult
Father Claude Martin. At that time he gave me no decisive answer,
demanding time to pray about it; saying he would write to me what
should appear to him to be the will of God concerning me.

I found it hard to get to speak to M. Bertot, both on account of his
being difficult of access, and of my knowing how he condemned things
extraordinary, or out of the common road. Being my director, I
submitted, against my own views or judgment, to what he said, laying
down all my own experiences when duty required me to believe and obey.
I thought, however, than in an affair of this importance, I ought to
address myself to him, and prefer his sense of the matter to that of
every one beside. Persuaded, he would infallibly tell me the will of
God. I went to him then, and he told me that my design was of God, and
that he had had a sense given him of God for some time past, that he
required something of me. I therefore returned home to set everything
in order. I loved my children much, having great satisfaction in being
with them, but resigned all to God to foll