, of its own choice; wanting only to see or to speak to any as
Providence directs, knowing well that all beside, far from helping,
only hurt it, or at least prove very unfruitful to it.

What, then, renders this soul so perfectly content? It neither knows,
nor wants to know, anything but what God calls it to. Herein it enjoys
divine content, after a manner vast, immense, and independent of
exterior events; more satisfied in its humiliation, and in the
opposition of all creatures, by the order of Providence, than on the
throne of its own choice.

It is here that the apostolic life begins. But do all reach that state?
Very few, indeed, as far as I can comprehend. There is a way of lights,
gifts and graces, a holy life in which the creature appears all
admirable. As this life is more apparent, so it is more esteemed of
such, at least, as have not the purest light. The souls which walk in
the other path are often very little known, for a length of time, as it
was with Jesus Christ Himself, till the last years of His life. Oh, if
I could but express what I conceive of this state! But I can only
stammer about it.

CHAPTER 9

Being, as I have said, with the Ursulines at Tonon, after having spoken
to the Bishop of Geneva, and seeing how he changed, just as others
turned him, I wrote to him and to Father La Mothe; but all my efforts
were useless. The more I endeavored to accommodate matters, the more
the ecclesiastic tried to confound them, hence I ceased to meddle.

One day I was told that the ecclesiastic had won over the good girl
whom I dearly loved. So strong a desire I had for her perfection that
it had cost me much. I should not have felt the death of a child so
much as her loss; at the same time I was told how to hinder it, but
that human way of acting was repugnant to my inward sense; these words
arose in my heart, "Except the Lord build the house."

And indeed He provided herein Himself, hindering her from yielding to
this deceitful man, after a manner to be admired, and very thwarting to
the designs of him and his associates. As long as I was with her she
still seemed wavering and fearful; but oh, the infinite goodness of
God, to preserve without our aid what without His we should inevitably
lose! I was no sooner separated from her, but she became immovable.

As for me, there scarcely passed a day but they treated me with new
insults; their assaults came on me at unawares. The New Catholics, by
the ins