ught highly of, I was too forward and free in speaking to him of
spiritual things, thinking I was doing well, but had a remorse for it
afterwards. How often we mistake nature for grace! One must be dead to
self, when such fowardness comes from God only.

My brother treated me with the utmost contempt. Yet, my mind was so
fully drawn inward, that although we had much more danger on the road
than when going, I had no thought about myself, but all about my
husband. Seeing the coach overturning, I said, "Fear not, it is on my
side that it falls; it will not hurt you." I believe, had all perished,
I should not have been moved. My peace was so profound that nothing
could shake it. If these times continued, we should be too strong. They
now began to come but seldom and were followed with long and wearisome
privations. Since that time my brother has changed for the better, and
has turned on the side of God, but he has never turned to me. It has
been by particular permission of God, and the conduct of His providence
over my soul, that has caused him and other religious persons, who have
persecuted me, to think they were rendering glory to God, and doing
acts of justice therein. Indeed, it is just that all creatures should
be treacherous to me, and declare against me, who have too many times
been treacherous to God, and sided with His enemy.

After this there was a very perplexing affair. To me it caused great
crosses, and seemed designed for nothing else. A certain person
conceived so much malice against my husband, that he was determined to
ruin him if possible. He found no other way to attempt it, but by
entering into a private engagement with my brother. He obtained a power
to demand, in the name of the king's brother, two hundred thousand
livres, which he pretended that my brother and I owed him. My brother
signed the processes, upon an assurance given him that he should not
pay anything. I think his youth engaged him in what he did not
understand. This affair so chagrined my husband, that I have reason to
believe it shortened his days. He was so angry with me (although I was
innocent), that he could not speak to me except in a fury. He would
give me no light into the affair, and I did not know in what it
consisted. In the height of his rage, he said he would not meddle with
it, but give me my portion, and let me live as I could. On the other
side, my brother would not move in it, nor suffer anything to be done.
The day of