, so powerful was the influence of divine grace. We had all
liked to have perished in a river. The rest of the company in desperate
fright threw themselves out of the coach, which sunk in the moving
sand. I continued so much inwardly occupied, that I did not once think
of the danger. God delivered me from it without my thought of avoiding
it. I was quite content to be drowned, had He permitted it. It may be
said, "I was rash." I believe I was so; yet I rather chose to perish,
trusting in God, than make my escape in a dependence on myself. What
say I? We do not perish, but for want of trusting Him. My pleasure is
to be indebted to Him for everything. This renders me content in my
miseries, which I would rather endure all my life long, in a state of
resignation to Him, than put an end to them, in a dependence on myself.
However, I would not advise others to act thus, unless they were in the
same disposition which I was in.

As my husband's maladies daily increased, he resolved to go to St.
Reine. He appeared very desirous of having none but me with him, and
told me one day, "If they never spoke to me against you, I should be
more easy, and you more happy." In this journey I committed many faults
of self-love and self-seeking. I was become like a poor traveler that
had lost his way in the night and could find no way, path, or track. My
husband, in his return from St. Reine, passed by St. Edm. Having now no
children but my first-born son, who was often at the gates of death, he
wished exceedingly for heirs, and prayed for them earnestly. God
granted his desire, and gave me a second son. As I was several weeks
without any one daring to speak to me, on account of my great weakness,
it was a time of retreat and of silence. I tried to indemnify myself
for the loss of time I had sustained in the others, to pray to Thee, O
my God, and to continue alone with Thee. I may say that God took a new
possession of me, and left me not. It was a time of continual joy
without interruption. As I had experienced many inward difficulties and
weaknesses it was a new life. It seemed as if I was already in the
fruition of beatitude. How dear did this happy time cost me, since it
was only a preparative to a total privation of comfort for several
years, without any support, or hope of return! It began with the death
of Mrs. Granger, who had been my only consolation under God. Before my
return from St. Reine I heard she was dead.

When I received t