re pain, that I thought I should lose them both.

I had violent pains for three weeks during which time I got little
sleep. I could not shut my eyes, they were so full of the smallpox, nor
open them by reason of the pain. My throat, palate, and gums were
likewise so filled with the pock, that I could not swallow broth, or
take nourishment without suffering extremely. My whole body looked
leprous. All that saw me said that they had never seen such a shocking
spectacle. But as to my soul, it was kept in a contentment not to be
expressed. The hopes of its liberty, by the loss of that beauty, which
had so frequently brought me under bondage, rendered me so satisfied,
and so united to God, that I would not have changed my condition for
that of the most happy prince in the world.

Everyone thought I would be inconsolable. Several expressed their
sympathy in my sad condition, as they judged it. I lay still in the
secret fruition of a joy unspeakable, in this total deprivation of what
had been a snare to my pride, and to the passions of men. I praised God
in profound silence. None ever heard any complaints from me, either of
my pains or the loss I sustained. The only thing that I said was, that
I rejoiced at, and was exceedingly thankful for the interior liberty I
gained thereby; and they construed this as a great crime. My confessor,
who had been dissatisfied with me before, came to see me. He asked me
if I was not sorry for having the smallpox; and he now taxed me with
pride for my answer.

My youngest little boy took the distemper the same day with myself, and
died for want of care. This blow indeed struck me to the heart, but
yet, drawing strength from my weakness, I offered him up, and said to
God as Job did, "Thou gavest him to me, and thou takest him from me;
blessed be thy holy name." The spirit of sacrifice possessed me so
strongly, that, though I loved this child tenderly, I never shed a tear
at hearing of his death. The day he was buried, the doctor sent to tell
me he had not placed a tombstone upon his grave, because my little girl
could not survive him two days. My eldest son was not yet out of
danger, so that I saw myself stripped of all my children at once, my
husband indisposed, and myself extremely so. The Lord did not take my
little girl then. He prolonged her life some years.

At last my mother-in-law's physician arrived, at a time wherein he
could be of but little service to me. When he saw the strange
i