it all ideas of myself immediately disappeared. I
found myself occupied with my ONE OBJECT, without distinction of ideas.
I was absorbed in peace inexpressible; I saw by the eye of faith that
it was God that thus wholly possessed me; but I did not reason at all
about it. It must not, however, be supposed that divine love suffered
my faults to go unpunished.

O Lord! with what rigor, dost Thou punish the most faithful, the most
loving and beloved of Thy children. I mean not externally, for this
would be inadequate to the smallest fault, in a soul that God is about
to purify radically. The punishments it can inflict on itself, are
rather gratifications and refreshments than otherwise. Indeed, the
manner in which He corrects His chosen, must be felt, or it is
impossible to conceive how dreadful it is. In my attempt to explain it,
I shall be unintelligible, except to experienced souls. It is an
internal burning, a secret fire sent from God to purge away the fault,
giving extreme pain, until this purification is complete. It is like a
dislocated joint, which is in incessant torment, until the bone is
replaced. This pain is so severe, that the soul would do anything to
satisfy God for the fault, and would rather be torn in pieces than
endure the torment. Sometimes the soul flies to others, and opens her
state that she may find consolation. Thereby she frustrates God's
designs toward her. It is of the utmost consequence to know what use to
make of the distress. The whole of one's spiritual advancement depends
on it. We should at these seasons of internal anguish, obscurity and
mourning, co-operate with God, endure this consuming torture in its
utmost extent (while it continues) without attempting to lessen or
increase it. Bear it passively, nor seek to satisfy God by anything we
can do of ourselves. To continue passive at such a time is extremely
difficult, and requires great firmness and courage. I knew some who
never advanced farther in the spiritual process because they grew
impatient, and sought means of consolation.

CHAPTER 12

The treatment of my husband and mother-in-law, however rigorous and
insulting, I now bore silently. I made no replies and this was not so
difficult for me, because the greatness of my interior occupation, and
what passed within, rendered me insensible to all the rest. There were
times when I was left to myself. Then I could not refrain from tears. I
did the lowest offices for them to h