. They were to me like the stroke of
a dart, which penetrated through my heart. I felt a very deep wound, a
wound so delightful that I desired not to be cured. These words brought
into my heart what I had been seeking so many years. Rather they
discovered to me what was there, and which I had not enjoyed for want
of knowing it.

O my Lord, Thou wast in my heart, and demanded only a simple turning of
my mind inward, to make me perceive Thy presence. Oh, Infinite
Goodness! how was I running hither and thither to seek Thee, my life
was a burden to me, although my happiness was within myself. I was poor
in riches, and ready to perish with hunger, near a table plentifully
spread, and a continual feast. O Beauty, ancient and new; why have I
known Thee so late? Alas! I sought Thee where Thou wert not, and did
not seek Thee where thou wert. It was for want of understanding these
words of Thy Gospel, "The kingdom of God cometh not with observation...
The kingdom of God is within you." This I now experienced. Thou
becamest my King, and my heart Thy kingdom, wherein Thou didst reign
supreme, and performed all Thy sacred will.

I told this man, that I did not know what he had done to me, that my
heart was quite changed, that God was there. He had given me an
experience of His presence in my soul; not by thought or any
application of mind, but as a thing really possessed after the sweetest
manner. I experienced these words in the Canticles (Song of Solomon):
"Thy name is as precious ointment poured forth; therefore do the
virgins love thee." I felt in my soul an unction which, as a salutary
balsam, healed in a moment all my wounds.

I slept not that whole night, because Thy love, O my God, flowed in me
like a delicious oil, and burned as a fire which was going to devour
all that was left of self. I was suddenly so altered that I was hardly
to be known either by myself or others. I found no longer those
troublesome faults or reluctances. They disappeared, being consumed
like chaff in a great fire.

I now became desirous that the instrument hereof might become my
director, preferable to any other. This good father could not readily
resolve to charge himself with my conduct although he saw so surprising
a change effected by the hand of God. Several reasons induced him to
excuse himself. First, my person, then my youth, for I was only
nineteen years. Lastly, a promise he had made to God, from a distrust
of himself, never to take up