and malignant pride.
Extravagantly extolling anyone proceeds from a like source.

Just before the birth of my first child, they were induced to take
great care of me. My crosses were somewhat mitigated. Indeed, I was so
ill that it was enough to excite the compassion of the most
indifferent. They had so great a desire of having children to inherit
their fortunes, that they were continually afraid lest I should any way
hurt myself. Yet, when the time of my delivery drew near, this care and
tenderness of me abated. Once, as my mother-in-law had treated me in a
very grating manner, I had the malice to feign a cholic, to give them
some alarm; but as I saw this little artifice gave them too much pain,
I told them I was better. No creature could be more heavily laden with
sickness than I was. Beside continual heavings, I had so strange a
distaste, except for some fruit, that I could not bear the sight of
food. I had continual swoonings and violent pains. After my delivery I
continued weak a long time. There was indeed sufficient to exercise
patience, and I was enabled to offer up my sufferings to our Lord. I
took a fever, which rendered me so weak, that after several weeks I
could scarcely bear to be moved or to have my bed made. When I began to
recover, an abscess fell upon my breast, which was forced to be laid
open in two places, which gave me great pain. Yet all the maladies
seemed to me only a shadow of troubles, in comparison with those I
suffered in the family which daily increased. Indeed, life was so
wearisome to me, that those maladies which were thought mortal did not
frighten me.

The event improved my appearance, and consequently served to increase
my vanity. I was glad to call forth expressions of regard. I went to
the public promenades (though but seldom) and when in the streets, I
pulled off my mask out of vanity. I drew off my gloves to show my
hands. Could there be greater folly? After falling into these
weaknesses, I used to weep bitterly at home. Yet, when occasion
offered, I fell into them again.

My husband lost considerably. This cost me strange crosses, not that I
cared for the losses, but I seemed to be the butt of all the ill-humors
of the family. With what pleasure did I sacrifice temporal blessings.
How often I felt willing to have begged my bread, if God had so ordered
it. But my mother-in-law was inconsolable. She bid me pray to God for
these things. To me that was wholly impossible.

O my d