randmother, "Have you ever tried making synthetic
gin?" or "Do you think any one will EVER lick Dempsey?" A more
experienced person, and some one who had studied the hobbies of old
people, would probably begin by remarking, "Well, I see that Jeremiah
Smith died of cancer Thursday," or "That was a lovely burial they gave
Mrs. Watts, wasn't it?" If you are tactful, you should soon win the old
lady's favor completely, so that before long she will tell you all about
her rheumatism and what grampaw can and can't eat.

Finally Miss Doe arrives. Her first words are, "Have you been waiting
long? Hilda didn't tell me you were here," to which you reply, "No--I
just arrived." She then says, "Shall we go in the drawing-room?" The
answer to this is, "For God's sake, yes!" In a few minutes you find
yourself alone in the drawing-room with the lady of your choice and the
courtship proper can then begin.

The best way to proceed is gradually to bring the conversation around to
the subject of the "modern girl." After your preliminary remarks about
tonsils and adenoids have been thoroughly exhausted, you should suddenly
say, "Well I don't think girls--nice girls--are really that way." She
replies, of course, "WHAT way?" You answer, "Oh, the way they are in
these modern novels. This 'petting,' for instance." She says, "WHAT
petting'?" You walk over and sit down on the sofa beside her. "Oh,"
you say, "these novelists make me sick--they seem to think that in our
generation every time a young man and woman are left alone on a lounge
together, they haven't a thing better to do than put out the light and
'pet.' It's disgusting, isn't it?" "Isn't it?" she agrees and reaching
over she accidentally pulls the lamp cord, which puts out the light.

On your first visit you should not stay after 12:30.

THE PROPOSAL PROPER

About the second or third month of a formal courtship it is customary
for the man to propose matrimony, and if the girl has been "out" for
three or four years and has several younger sisters coming along, it
is customary for her to accept him. They then become "engaged," and the
courtship is concluded.

CHAPTER TWO: THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS

THE HISTORIC ASPECT

"Matrimony," sings Homer, the poet, "is a holy estate and not lightly to
be entered into." The "old Roman" is right.

A modern wedding is one of the most intricate and exhausting of social
customs. Young men and women of our better classes ar