ays.

Meanwhile the ushers have been performing their duty of showing the
invited guests to the various pews. A correctly trained usher will
always have ready some cheery word or sprightly bit of conversation
to make the guests feel perfectly at home as he conducts them to their
seats. "It's a nice day, isn't it?" is suggested as a perfectly safe
and yet not too unusual topic of conversation. This can be varied by
remarking, "Isn't it a nice day?" or in some cases, where you do not
wish to appear too forward, "Is it a nice day, or isn't it?" An usher
should also remember that although he has on a cutaway, he is neither
a floor-walker nor a bond salesman, and remarks such as "Something in a
dotted Swiss?" or "Third aisle over--second pew--next the ribbon goods,"
are decidedly non au fait.

The first two pews on each side of the center aisle are always reserved
for members of the immediate family, but it is a firmly established
custom that the ushers shall seat in these "family pews" at least three
people with whom the family are barely on speaking terms. This slight
error always causes Aunt Nellie and Uncle Fred to sit up in the gallery
with the family cook.

With the arrival of the bride, the signal is given to the organist to
start the wedding march, usually either Mendelssohn's or Wagner's. About
this time the mother of the bride generally discovers that the third
candle from the left on the rear altar has not been lighted, which
causes a delay of some fifteen minutes during which time the organist
improvises one hundred and seventy-three variations on the opening
strains of the march.

Finally all is adjusted and the procession starts down the aisle led by
the ushers swaying slowly side by side. It is always customary for three
or four of the eight ushers to have absolutely no conception of time
or rhythm, which adds a quaint touch of uncertainty and often a little
humor to the performance.

After the Scotch mist left by the passing ushers has cleared, there come
the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, and then, leaning on her father's
arm (unless, of course, her father is dead), the bride.

In the meantime, the bridegroom has been carried in by the best man and
awaits the procession at the foot of the aisle, which is usually four
hundred and forty yards long. The ushers and bridesmaids step awkwardly
to one side; the groom advances and a hush falls over the congregation
which is the signal for the bride's little