s been selected by a friend to act as Best Man
at his wedding and has attended the Bachelor Dinner. Instead of
doing what he should do under the circumstances, he is making himself
conspicuous by remaining coherent while the others sing "Mademoiselle
from Alabam'." Had the Bridegroom provided himself with a copy of
PERFECT BEHAVIOR he would have known better than to have selected him.}

GOOD FORM FOR DRY AGENTS DURING A RAID

After the costume, you should arrange to obtain a mask and a breath.
The former is, of course, for the purpose of hiding your identity; the
latter is essential at any party where you wish to remain inconspicuous.
A good whisky breath can usually be obtained from a bottle of any of the
better known brands of Scotch or Rye whisky by holding a small quantity
of the liquor in the mouth for a short period of time. It is not, of
course, necessary to swallow the liquor and in this connection I would
suggest that you use only the best grade whisky, for there are at
present being manufactured for domestic consumption several brands
which, if held in the mouth for a longer interval than, say, three
seconds, are apt to eat away the tongue or dissolve several of your more
important teeth.

On the night of the party, therefore, having donned your Dry Agent
costume, having put on your mask, having secured a good breath--you
jump into a taxicab and drive to the Glen Cove Country Club. And, as
you enter the door of the club, some girl, dressed, probably, as Martha
Washington, will run up and kiss you. This is not because she thinks
you are George Washington; it is because she drank that eighth Bronx
cocktail at dinner.

And right at this point is where most Dry Agents have displayed their
ignorance of the usages of polite society, for most of them are wofully
ignorant of the correct way to handle such a situation. Your average Dry
Agent, not being accustomed to the ways of Younger Marrieds, is often
confused upon being unexpectedly kissed, and in his confusion betrays
his unfortunate lack of social training.

The correct way to meet the above situation is based on the fundamental
rule of all social etiquette--common sense. Return the lady's kiss in an
easy, natural manner and pass on. If she follows you, lead her at once
to a quiet unoccupied corner of the club and knock her over the head
with a chair or some other convenient implement. It has been found that
this is the only effective way to deal with this