ou and he will proceed to put
up the top. In doing this, it is customary for the guest to get the
second and third fingers of his right hand so severely pinched that he
can not use the hand for several days. As soon as the top is up and the
rain curtains are in place the sun will come out and you can at once get
out and put the top down, taking care this time to ruin two fingers of
the LEFT hand.

No good conversationalist confines himself exclusively to one subject,
and when you are once more "under way" you should remark to the mother,
"I think that motoring is great fun, don't you, Mrs. Caldwell?" Her
answer will be, "I wish you wouldn't drive so fast!" You should then
smile and say to Aunt Florence, "Don't YOU think that motoring is great
fun, Mrs. Lockwood?" As she is about to reply, the left rear tire will
blow out with a loud noise and the car will come to a bumping stop.

The etiquette of changing a tire is fairly simple. As soon as the
"puncture" occurs one should at once remark, "Is there anything I can
do?" This request should be repeated from time to time, always taking
care, however, that no one takes it at all seriously. The real duty of a
young man who is a "guest" on a motor trip on which a "blow-out" occurs
is, of course, to keep the ladies of the party amused during the delay.
This can be accomplished by any of the conventional methods, such as
card tricks, handsprings, and other feats of athletic agility, or making
funny jokes about the host who is at work on the tire.

When the damage has been repaired and the car is once more speeding
along, leaving behind it mile after mile of dusty road as well as
father's best "jack" and set of tire tools, the small boy will suddenly
remark, "I'm hungry." His father will then reply, "We'll be at a fine
place to eat in ten minutes." Thirty minutes later mother will remark,
"Will, that looks like a good place for a picnic over there." The father
will reply, "No--we're coming to a wonderful place--just trust me,
Mary!" Twenty minutes later Aunt Florence will say, "Will, I think that
grove over there would be fine for our lunch," to which the husband
will reply, "We're almost at the place I know about--it's ideal for a
picnic." Forty minutes after this, father will stop the car and point
to a clump of trees. "There," he will say, "what do you think of that?"
"Oh, we can't eat THERE!" will be the answer of mother, daughter and
Aunt Florence. "Drive on a bit further-