Nice bit of chicken
For his own private picking,"

no sooner had he put on his specs, and begun to focus his fowl, than he
suddenly started up, rang for the cook, and after having vociferated at
her carelessness, and lectured her for being so extremely perfunctory
and disorderly in not keeping the cat out of the cupboard, till his
appetite for scolding was pretty well satisfied, he paused for her
apology: the guardian genius of the pantry, to his extreme astonishment,
informed him, that his suspicions concerning the hideous appearance
which had so shocked him, was erroneous: such unsightly havoc was not
occasioned by the epicurism of a _four_-legged brute, and that the fowls
were exactly in the same state they came from the table, and that young
Master Johnny had cut them up himself.

Those in the parlour should recollect the importance of setting a good
example to their friends at the second table. If they cut bread, meat,
cheese, &c. fairly, it will go twice as far as if hacked and mangled by
some sensualists, who appear to have less consideration for their
domestics than a good sportsman for his dogs.

A prudent carver will distribute the dainties he is serving out in equal
division, and regulate his helps by the proportion his dish bears to the
number it is to be divided among, and considering the quantum of
appetite the several guests are presumed to possess.

If you have a bird, or other delicacy at table, which cannot be
apportioned out to all as you wish, when cut up, let it be handed round
by a servant; modesty will then prompt the guests to take but a small
portion, and such as perhaps could not be offered to them without
disrespect.

Those chop-house cormorants who

"Critique your wine, and analyze your meat,
Yet on plain pudding deign at home to eat,"

are generally tremendously officious in serving out the loaves and
fishes of other people; for, under the notion of appearing exquisitely
amiable, and killingly agreeable to the guests, they are ever on the
watch to distribute themselves the dainties[412-*] which it is the
peculiar part of the master and mistress to serve out, and is to them
the most pleasant part of the business of the banquet; the pleasure of
helping their friends is the gratification which is their reward for the
trouble they have had in preparing the feast: such gentry are the terror
of all good housewives; to obtain their favourite cut they will so
unmercifully mangle