as recht Lustiges schreiben koennte! Nur Gedult! 's
wird kommen--hoff' ich, oder--oder hab' ich dann nicht genug getragen?
Erfuhr ich nicht schon als Bube, was den Mann seufzen machen wuerde? und
als Juengling, geht's da besser?--Du lieber Gott! bin ich's denn allein?
jeder andre gluecklicher als ich? Und was hab' ich dann gethan?"[20]
There is a world of pathos in this helpless cry of pain, with its
suggestion of retributive fate. A poem of 1788, "Die Stille," written at
Maulbronn, epitomizes almost everything that we have thus far noted as
to Hoelderlin's nature. He goes back in fancy to the days of his
childhood, describing his lonely rambles, from which he would return in
the moonlight, unmindful of his lateness for the evening meal, at which
he would hastily eat of that which the others had left:

Schlich mich, wenn ich satt gegessen,
Weg von meinem lustigen Geschwisterpaar.

O! in meines kleinen Stuebchens Stille
War mir dann so ueber alles wohl,
Wie im Tempel war mir's in der Naechte Huelle,
Wann so einsam von dem Turm die Glocke scholl.

Als ich weggerissen von den Meinen
Aus dem lieben elterlichen Haus
Unter Fremden irrte, we ich nimmer weinen
Durfte, in das bunte Weltgewirr hinaus,

O wie pflegtest du den armen Jungen,
Teure, so mit Mutterzaertlichkeit,
Wann er sich im Weltgewirre mued gerungen,
In der lieben, wehmutsvollen Einsamkeit.[21]

This love of solitude is carried to the extreme in his contemplation of
a hermit's life. In a letter to Nast he says: "Heute ging ich so vor
mich hin, da fiel mir ein, ich wolle nach vollendeten Universitaets
Jahren Einsiedler werden--und der Gedanke gefiel mir so wohl, eine
ganze Stunde, glaub' ich, war ich in meiner Fantasie Einsiedler."[22]
And although he never became a hermit, this is the final disposition
which he makes of himself in his "Hyperion."

These habits of thought and feeling, formed in boyhood, could lead to
only one result. He became less and less qualified to comprehend and to
grapple with the practical problems and difficulties of life, and
entered young manhood and the struggle for existence at a tremendous
disadvantage.

Another trait of his character which served to intensify his subsequent
disappointments, was the strong ambition which early filled his soul. He
aspired to high achievements in his chosen field of art. In a letter to
Louise Nast, written probably about the beginning of